We spent this hot summer evening in the pool together, something we haven’t done in a couple of weeks. Appreciating the amber sunset, cheek to cheek, up to our necks in warm water may not be as exciting as making ten skydives in a day or traveling by land through Europe, but it was every bit as magical once we focused our attention on the fact that it was.
We shared moments of pure happiness in that pool tonight, soaking under the stars. But we had to pay attention. I always look for those moments. The more we seek, the more we find.
…Peace can exist only in the present moment. It is ridiculous to say “Wait until I finish this, then I will be free to live in peace.” What is “this”? A diploma, a job, a house, the payment of a debt? If you think that way, peace will never come. There is always another “this” that will follow the present one. If you are not living in peace at this moment, you will never be able to. If you truly want to be at peace, you must be at peace right now. Otherwise, there is only “the hope of peace some day.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, ‘The Sun My Heart”
For the most part I feel I’ve made peace with the dramatic rearrangement of my life. Finally. Even though it waxes and wanes a bit everyday, I am more at peace than not, more often than not.
Nick is still actively seeking that peace. I can’t begin to pretend to know how strong someone must be to find peace in their heart after going through what Nick has gone through. He’s close. I can sense it in him, and he acknowledges it, but he still needs more time.
I have 100% knowing that life will be beautiful for us again one day, and that our misfortunes will allow us to see Life’s brilliant colors more vibrantly than ever before.
“Today and everyday I find simple ways to give to everyone I meet.” – the Centering Thought for the day, source unknown.
I’m grateful Nick took the time to share part of his daily meditation with me today. He’s been incredibly diligent in keeping up with the program. I know it’s helping him get through this healing process. Meditating daily is keeping him calm, centered, and allowing him to relax deep to the core. I’m proud of him for seeking this mediation series, and for being a student of life, love, and soul for the last few years. He could have lost this connection after his accident, but I think it’s just increased his hunger.
I can remember a time when we were first dating that he would tell me he didn’t feel in touch with his spirituality, that he didn’t understand it or how he felt about it, or what it all meant. For the last three years or so he’s been seeking inner peace, and I know it’s made him a better person.
Here are a few amber hued words that resonated with me.
Love is the source. Love is the goal.
The beauty of love is that in giving it away we are left with more than what we had before.
Time and space are so strange sometimes. We missed our friend Dennis’ memorial tonight and I’m not entirely sure how it happened, but it did. I am just gutted at this missed opportunity to help lift some of our friends who’ve recently lifted us up. But this isn’t about me, I know. It’s about Dennis and all of our friends whose lives he touched, who are mourning as well. Regardless of our absence at his memorial tonight, I will always remember him fondly for his big heart, warm hugs, and genuine kindness. He had such a soothing, easy presence. I liked being around him and am extremely sad he is gone. May his soul finally find peace.
I’d like to say a little more about Nicks visit to the High School yesterday. He was such a rockstar at his old school. He got to chat with two of his former teachers who still work there. I can’t believe they remember him. They even recalled specific stories about him, like the time he brought his big snake to school around his neck. Walking through the school campus, I realized just how old we’re getting. Nick kept pointing to buildings and reminiscing about “how it used to be”. And apparently a lot has changed since 1996.
Our friend Sue has been talking to her math students about Nick since the accident happened. They made cards and signs and have been anticipating his visit for a long time. It’s been weeks in the making. We got there just before one half of the school went to lunch. Most of Sue’s class sat and hung out with Nick during their entire lunch, and lots of students got dismissed from their classes to come and visit. They asked lots of questions, mainly having to do with his tattoos and skydiving. We really hoped to leave them with an inspirational message of following their dreams or never giving up, but that didn’t happen. Somehow, some way, the big lesson of the day was, “wait until you’re older to get your tattoos, otherwise you’ll end up with something you regret.” Good, honest advise, yes, but it’s just not how we planned it. Guess we can chalk that up to “knowing your audience”. It really was an incredible experience. They had genuine care and interest in Nicks story and his recovery. Thank you Sue for setting it up and creating a great life-learning environment for your kids. And the cake was excellent as well!