We took a huge leap of faith yesterday and got Nick on a different medication in hopes of helping his phantom and nerve pain. Nick wants off all the medication, and has even weened himself off of one in the last two months, so to want to try a new pill for his pain is a big step. He took the first dose last night and is already noticing some changes. His phantom pain has dramatically decreased, but he’s groggy, foggy, and irritable. Hmmm… that’s quite a trade-off isn’t it? He has decided to give it a run for a week or two to see how it affects him.
But just because he’s taking a fancy new pill that doesn’t’ mean we’re giving up on all the alternative therapies. He had his second acupuncture appointment yesterday and he’s seeing a new hypnotherapist on Tuesday.
These past few weeks have been rough, and I wish I could say otherwise. His pain is a constant reminder of how drastically our lives have changed. I’m doing everything I can to support and encourage him, comfort and console him. I’m also doing everything I can to keep a positive head about myself. It’s hard, but I know I’m kicking ass and making the absolute best out of every moment. That’s all I can do, right? Be my best self.
I realize that I still haven’t completely healed or put the trauma behind me. It’s obvious by how much it still rules my daily life. I’d like to make quicker progress, but because Nick and I are so intertwined, we are moving at a mutually effective pace. And I’m okay with that.
Yesterday we went to lunch with my two cousins Cheryl and Kim. I’ve never hung out with them like that and it felt so good to make that important family connection. And Nick was completely transformed after spending a few hours with those lively, loving women. He was absolutely miserable on the way there, and left two hours later feeling happy and alive. How awesome is that?
EDIT: I spoke too soon. Just moments after hitting “publish” on this blog post Nick told me that the phantom pains have been kicking his ass for the past hour. I feel so bad for him when he’s hurting like this, I just can’t stand it.