Yesterday the doctor sent us home with a prescription for GoLightly, the drink commonly used prior to colonoscopies. Well, that stuff works. Fast. But now Nick is feeling really sick – hot, cold, hot, cold. And he’s just all around miserable, with his stomach pains still peaking.
What a terrible day. It’s hard to be positive when this shit is going on.
Maybe – just maybe – he will sleep it off and feel like $640,000 bucks tomorrow.
I need a vacation. I bet Fener could use one too. There are dozens of historically rich and exotic locations I long to experience, and not nearly enough time, money, (and now mobility) to see them all. I’ve had hours of prime daydreaming time today while sitting and squirming on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the hospital emergency room.
Yes, the ER.
Again.
We woke to a worsening of the pain in Nicks abdomen, and decided we couldn’t afford to wait another day. A trip to the ER assures prompt attention to a potentially dangerous situation. We didn’t know if his intestines were blocking up again, or if something more serious was developing. After some blood work, a few x-rays and hours of waiting, the doctor confirmed what we have suspected all along: Nick Fener is full of shit.
I’m shocked but relieved. I feel like we’ve been doing everything right; his diet is healthful and promotes elimination, he “goes” 2-3 times per day, he’s more active than he used to be, and he’s taking all the right supplements to keep things moving.
I know y’all don’t care to know about Nicks turds, and honestly I’m not sure why I’m sharing all this. I’ll spare the details of what the solution to Nicks stomach woes will consist of; but I can mention that the adventures in NickFenerland will continue first thing tomorrow morning per doctors orders, so he will be missing his session at Project Walk.
After keeping Nick company for a brief ten hours in the ER, I am elated to be home. Home, and taking a few moments to release the events of the day and digest the new Facts of Life around here. A few minor tweaks and changes to his already-healthy dietary habits and he should be golden. I wonder if he will be a slave to an ultra strict diet for the rest of his life or if this is a necessity only during his time of healing. It doesn’t matter; he’s willing to do whatever it takes.
So…
getting back to that vacation…
We experienced an awesome walking accomplishment this morning when Nick ran two errands (by himself) with only his walking crutches. He said it felt great to be walking with a goal – instead of just in circles. He drove down to Murrieta to pick up a few prescriptions from his doctor, then went to Target to drop them off at the pharmacy. To most people these errands are no big deal, but for Nick, they offered him the chance to get out and accomplish something on his own. It took him a little more than an hour to go and get back, and once he got home we only had twenty minutes to spare before leaving for Project Walk. He climbed in the backseat of the CrV with three pillows and immediately passed out, sleeping soundly until we were less than a mile from our destination. It’s amazing how quickly his body becomes taxed from simple everyday activities. He’s getting stronger though; he can handle so much more action than just a few weeks ago.
He’s still having unexplainable pain in his abdomen so we made an appointment with his doctor for Monday. Then at some point this afternoon we realized that Monday is too far away. I got them to squeeze him in on Friday morning instead. This means we’ll miss going to Project Walk – but finding the source of his pain is much more important.
I’m sad tonight. Just had my last dinner with two of my absolute favorite people, including one of my best friends and #1 go-to-girl for all my physical and emotional needs. I guess it wasn’t our last dinner with Bart and Kim, but since they are moving away to the east coast this weekend, it was a time of goodbyes. I don’t want to say goodbye. Having Bart and Kim around the corner was so much fun these past few years. But during this last year, I would have absolutely crumbled without Kim by my side. I leaned heavily on her and have developed a sisterly closeness that is priceless to me. Although she wasn’t a lone soldier in the Fenwalter Army, she does deserve the Medal of Honor. I’m really going to miss those two.
Nick got his new legs today. They fit much better than before and he is so happy. We are also eager to try his new water legs – either in a pool or shower, whichever comes first.
We also had our annual tax appointment this afternoon. I was dreadfully unprepared (big surprise) but we walked away extremely relieved.
For three days now Nick has had unexplainable abdominal pain. We are becoming concerned and just might have to do something about it. The fun just won’t stop!
These are the new feet on his old legs. He also got new legs put on his old feet.
What a beautiful day March 26th is. We’ve been celebrating our 7 year anniversary today. I can’t believe we’ve been together so long, but at the same time, I can’t remember life without him. We didn’t do anything spectacular to celebrate other than have a nice dinner after his session at Project Walk. I was looking forward to the most delicious seared ahi tuna salad all day, just as Nick couldn’t wait to devour his favorite apple and blueberry cobbler for dessert.
There was plenty of talk today about how we’ve made it so long, and how it has never felt as though we’ve had to “stick it out”. We’ve been through a lot together in such a short time; my broken leg when we first started dating, several career changes, my Mom dying, his folks parting ways, my Dad’s quadruple bypass and two knee replacements, a failed business venture together, buying a house, many friends dying, and now his disabling injury. We’ve done more than just survive, we had thrived. We’re closer and more in love now than ever, despite some of our new physical limitations.
I was not initially attracted to Nick. In fact, it took months for me to “give in” after he expressed interest in me. But once I gave him a chance, I never looked back. We dove right into a serious commitment, and then slowly began building a life together. I’m grateful that we had six amazing years together before he got hurt. I wonder if I would have been so strong and unwavering if this had happened within the first few years. Thank God we weren’t tested with this sooner.
I truly believe we’ve made it through the worst of it and that life is getting better everyday. He receives his next set of legs tomorrow which means he won’t have to wear three thick socks on each leg anymore. These legs should last for several years. It’s a strange thought to consider that he will require artificial limbs for the rest of his life in order to walk or even stand up. Like me and my chapstick, Nick will be totally reliant upon those carbon fiber legs.
Cool action shot of Nick catching some air! He was having so much fun jumping as high as he could and then practicing his landings. It’s the simple things in life, isn’t it? The act of simply jumping up and down got Nick totally revved up. I love it!
Nick had another hour-plus phantom attack this morning. I am so over this ridiculous bullshit. I witnessed him wake up to the attack. He was asleep when suddenly his body began to curl up, his face started to grimace and he jolted awake in excruciating pain. It felt like someone was stabbing his foot with a knife – for over an hour!
He missed his gym training appointment. This sucks because he will be missing Tuesday as well. But at least the attack went away eventually and he was able to carry on with the day.
I wish we could find a way to flip the switch in his brain. I don’t know how, and I don’t know anyone who does. These attacks are getting more frequent. They’re unpredictable and completely debilitating. We can’t even wrap our brains around it. Why? Why is this happening? Has he not suffered enough? Let’s just keep pushing him to see how long it takes for him to break. I wish we could blame it on something, but we can’t. There is no common denominator between the handful of attacks he’s had. For now we’re at the mercy of those dead feet coming back to haunt him, almost a year later. Maybe they’re pissed about the whole amputation thing. The ghosts of Nicks feet are having separation anxiety. Imagine that!
Project Walk! Oh how I love thee!
Nick tried some new moves again today. I delight in the fact that Project Walk provides a secure environment for Nick to grow and flourish, try and fail, and push himself safely to exhaustion. Since he learned to walk holding Eric’s arm on Wednesday, today he did more of the same before taking it up a notch. The next level of independence will be to walk freely with only one crutch. So, that’s exactly what they tried. He charged a few laps with only one crutch, all the while securely fastened into the hanging harness. The concensus is that Nick is not ready for this yet. He was wobbly, losing his balance, and falling into the harness. We think it’s due to the single point of contact of the crutch to the ground. It rotates as he puts his weight on it, causing him to lose his balance. Eric mentioned that a four-point cane (like old ladies use) would likely keep Nick from rotating around the crutch.
Nick was also “practicing for landing” at therapy today. In a harness, he held onto a bar and did squat jumps in preparation to land a parachute one day. It wasn’t a completely accurate simulation of a parachute landing, but was exciting all the same. He really got into it; I could tell he was visualizing coming in for landing on the grass. The impact on his joints and spine didn’t seem to bother him at all either, which is a major bonus.
The workout was rough on him though. We got home around 3PM, and he’s been in bed ever since – only getting up for dinner and toileting. The dude is worn out. His workouts are getting harder, his muscles are waking up more, and he is still healing. At six hardcore workouts a week (1-2 hours in length), coupled with all the “everyday” energy he exerts just to survive, it’s no wonder he is knackered! His pain meds make him loopy and groggy as well, which never helps. But despite his extreme fatigue this evening, I’m proud of his determination to keep pushing forward. Proud, because I realize how easy it could be for someone to chose the alternative.
Not much can top yesterday’s news, so why even try? I think I’ve watched that video over 30 times today, and I’m still not tired of it yet. Really excited about therapy at Project Walk tomorrow. With a break through as sizable as the one he had on Wednesday, there’s no telling what will happen next.
Today we rearranged one appointment to make room for another. And after all that, the appointment got cancelled. It was not a big deal for us, but just one more less-than-smooth situation we found ourselves in. If it’s something necessary that we must deal with in our world, then there is usually some level of friction. A strange phenomenon that I’m not used to, but am coming to expect on a regular basis.
We are both worn out tonight. He was asleep the second his head touched the pillow. Preparing for tomorrow; an early morning and another intense workout with Eric.
AMAZING progress at Project Walk.
(If you’re having difficulty watching the video below, click here)
The physical progress we’ve seen with Nick over the past one month is astonishing. Yesterday was the 10 month mark since his accident, so we spent time talking about how far he’s come since the 9 month mark. Exactly one month ago Nick got his ankles adjusted and started standing without aid. That evening he was able to use his hand crutches for the first time. Over the course of the next few weeks, he became very comfortable and stable with the hand crutches. He learned to use them in public and on uneven surfaces. He walked up and down slopes and curbs and even opened and closed doors while using them. He completely abandoned the walker and rarely uses the parallel bars anymore – even though he should utilize them more often, as there are many useful exercises he could be doing on them.
But today, Nick made his biggest stride of all. After trying for a month now to rise from sitting to standing without assistance, he finally did it! He had the harness on, but the tension was slack, and he just stood on up. In fact, he stood up multiple times; they practiced it over and over again.
That’s not all. For the last month Nick repeatedly attempted to walk with only one crutch, or by only holding the rail with one hand, but was never able to take a single step. Both legs have been too weak to hold his weight long enough to allow the other foot to pass through and step down in front. Until today! Something clicked in Nick’s body today. First he took one step while holding onto Eric with one hand. Then he took three steps. Three became five, and soon he was walking back and forth across the floor while only using one hand for support. We were all completely blown away by his sudden leap of progress. He had quite a bit of weight in the one arm, but his gait was smooth and he was in control. Such a beautiful sight inspired me to jump up and down while incessently repeating “Oh My God”. My smile burst through my cheeks! In a flash I had a vivid day dream in which I was whisked away to our wedding day, set on a breathtaking private beach, free of wheelchairs and crutches. We were walking hand in hand as husband and wife.
He tried on his test sockets today. They’re clear in order to see any adjustments that are needed. This time they changed a few things. Nick also got a peek at his articulating feet. There is a button in the ankle that he will push to move his foot into a pointed-toe position, and a neoprene sleeve to keep the water out. The anticipation is killing him, especially since he has to wait another week for them to be done.
Nick and I are drained, frazzled and out of gas – physically, mentally, and emotionally.
No wait, that’s just me. Nick is fine.
Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the heart’s revelation that another person is every bit as real as you are. To love a specific person, and to identify with his or her struggles and joys as if they were your own, you have to surrender some of your self.
–Jonathan Franzen
Wide awake at 5am as Nick finally decides to get out of bed and walk around.
We’ve been awake for hours because of intense phantom pain.
Burning, electrocuting, cramping, shocking, completely intolerable pain on a part of his body that’s not even there.
He has no feet!!
I can not describe the frustration and bewilderment we’ve been experiencing because of this. Poor Nick.
I don’t say that often, but when he has these random attacks I feel terrible for him. I hurt for him. It’s just like being attacked. A mental mugging leaving him emotionally battered and physically exhausted. His body wretches and tightens with every pulsing pain, making it harder and harder to relax or fall back asleep. The longer it goes on, the more the intensity compounds.
It’s a dirty, dirty trick that we refuse to see the good in.
I don’t have much to say tonight. In fact, this feels a wee bit forced laddie (my best leprechaun impression??).
But what I can say is that I’m feeling even better today. Still a little strange, but more myself.
Nick is really beginning to acknowledge how far he’s come. Reminiscing, he mentioned that just a month or two ago he was dreaming of the time when he could truck along with his hand crutches. And he’s there now. Next we’re looking forward to him doing certain tasks without the wheelchair and eventually going a whole day without needing it. I’m sure that we’ll just wake up one morning and realize we’re already there.
On the way to Project Walk we spoke A LOT about the logistics of getting him underwater and scuba diving again. Engaging in a brainstorming conversation about one of our favorite hobbies, and feeling like it’s going to be do-able again soon, was exhilarating! I got pumped up from it!! Love that!
I’m starting to feel a little bit better, and I think things are starting to work themselves out in my head. You see, I was so focused on Nick’s recovery for 9 months, ensuring that nothing got in our way, that I completely ignored my feelings. If I seemed like Super Woman -as many of you have told me- that’s because I was. I completely lost touch with my human, emotional side in order to give 100% of my energy to my healing honey.
It’s something that just happened – losing myself. It wasn’t a choice, it was an unconscious reaction. Like the Mom who lifts a car off her child. It was natural, easy, sometimes painful, but never a burden. I spent the last 9 months doing what needed to be done, without spending much time thinking about anything else. My dedication has paid off tremendously. I wouldn’t change it at all. I believe Nick’s miraculous progress and recovery is definitely due to our team work, his sweat, and our friends and family’s support.
He has made incredible strides with his healing over the past month. He is enjoying the fruits of his new independence, including showering and toileting on his own now. I’m still needed, but just not as much. This is great! But it’s also allowed me to connect to the buried emotions of losing life as we once knew it.
I think that’s what I’m most hurt by. Life changed instantly. It was no subtle change; everything changed. A 180 degree change.
Our life together was so bitchin! And then… it wasn’t. It isn’t. But I guess we’re just in the long process of redefining what “bitchin” means to us. Like today, he came home from visiting two different Hobby Shops (after going to the gym) and said he had “so much fun just chatting around with the guys.” That would have been an ordinary experience in our past life. But today it made him feel alive and happy.
I know we will build an awesome life together again. We’ve already begun. I’ve realized that isn’t the issue in my head. I’m not worried about the future. I’m starting to create my future again. I’m still processing the loss of what our future was going to be. I know this now, and just by knowing it, I’m feeling a little better. There were several days over the past few weeks that I had to force myself to smile. And some days I couldn’t even force it. There were days that I didn’t leave the house or answer the phone because I just couldn’t stand to interact with anyone. I was in a cave of mourning, and had no desire to scratch my way out.
But that was then. I woke today with a bit of a spring to my step. I’m not done grieving, but I see the next transition is near. I miss the happy, smiley Lindsay that sees the positive in everything. But I know that taking the time, in my own time, to deal with my junk, is the healthiest, most beneficial thing I could do for myself. I know I’ll emerge a better person. The kind of person who deserves to partner with an incredible man like Nick.
I want to take a moment and thank all of our friends and family who have stuck by our sides during these last 9 months. The ups and downs are enough to wear anyone out. We (by we, I mean me) have been selfish and absent a lot of the time, so thank you for allowing us to run the course of our emotions. It hasn’t been easy. Without you all, we would be crushed, broke and alone during a very painful time in our lives. But you wouldn’t let that happen. Thank you friends for your undying support! Thank you family for being our crutch. We really appreciate everything, and never want to overlook or take any of it for granted. We are blessed and we know it! Thank you!
Found these great pictures at Moms while the boys were going down memory lane. The top one is Sandee, Nick, Dan and Seth. The bottom is Seth and Nick. I love how cute Nick was as a kid. He was adorable! They all were!
Another long day. It started slow though. Nick was in a lot of pain and totally exhausted this morning. He missed his morning workout with Jamon. I hate it when that happens, but I also know it’s important for him to honor his body and rest when he needs it. Six days a week of hardcore working out is intense, especially for someone recovering from an injury like Nick’s. In fact, he couldn’t fully wake up until we had to actually leave for his prosthetist appointment.
He got fitted for new legs today. The legs he has now were only supposed to be for the first 3-6 months while his stumps were still shrinking. The ones he got fitted for today will last for the next 3-4 years. The coolest part is that he is getting “water legs”. The ankles will articulate so he can swim with them on. And they’ll be his legs for showering too, when he can stand on his own. They’ll be putting the new, smaller sockets onto the feet he currently has, and moving the current, too-big sockets onto the swim feet. He’ll be set for a while. We are so excited!
Remember the picture of Nick’s feet on backward? Well here’s the video!
(If you’re having difficulty watching the video below, click here)
Working on stepping through without placing the crutch down first.
Long day! And it began so sweetly too. As we were leaving the house and loading into the car this morning, I watched in admiration as Nick opened the front door and closed it behind him while walking with the crutches. Then he walked on the gravel and let himself into the car. I normally open doors for him, but now that he is getting so steady on the hand crutches, he’s ready for more challenges. See, it’s one thing to walk straight, on a flat surface with lots of space. It’s another thing to walk while carrying on with the basic, everyday tasks we all perform, like opening a door, getting a glass of water, picking something up off the floor, or carrying a jar across the kitchen. It’s activities like this that keep Nicks wheelchair a vital part of his life still.
So as Nick got into the car this morning, I thought out loud, “Nick, you’re going to get your life back. All of it.” And I just loved his reply. Made my day! He said, “Going to? I’ve already GOT my life back!” Ahhh, he certainly is manifesting positive outcomes in his life now, isn’t he? He has such a great outlook on life, I couldn’t ask for anything better.
Project Walk was incredible too. Today was the start of his seventh week at Project Walk, and he’s got his sights on being able to walk with only one crutch, within the next two weeks! Wow, that’s ambitious, and he knows it. But after mentioning it to Bri, they began working toward it today. He got in the safety harness and practiced trying to walk while only relying on one of the crutches. It was so difficult. And only once did I see him step down without immediately going to his crutch. But just once was enough. It felt so good to see.
He walked a lot, and is feeling it tonight. His pain meds aren’t working and he is just miserable. You’d think we’d have this figured out by now, but we don’t. Like he was telling Eric today, if his tailbone didn’t hurt so bad, then pain really wouldn’t be an issue. The tailbone is what messes with him the most frequently and intensely. He didn’t even break his tailbone. We are so frustrated by this.
The new permanent hand controls. Despite the stupid warning sticker they stuck to the windshield (thanks a lot) I really enjoyed doing some driving with the hand controls this evening. Its not too terribly difficult, but Nick makes it look easy!
I don’t normally post things like this… but…
I love quiet Sundays to sleep in, then wake to be greeted by my Dad, cook a healthy breakfast, lounge outside, do chores, watch a movie… ya know, just chill out.
Tomorrow is no joke though. We start first thing in the morning and head to Riverside to get the hand controls permanently installed on the Honda. It’s been a long process getting to this point. I’d say we’ve been given a bit of the run around, honestly. But after the four hour installation (while you wait) it will make life more convenient for us. Then we’re off to Project Walk for his late work out of the week. Looking forward to seeing what they throw at him tomorrow.
This is Feners ideal way to spend a day off. A peaceful afternoon nap in the sun, with the breeze blowing, wind chimes ringing, and MIA cuddling. I’m not sure it gets more relaxing than this!
I just realized today that I’ve been going through some sort of mourning. Now that things are normalizing a bit, and Nick is gaining more independence, I’ve naturally had more time and space to process things. Here, I’ve just spent the last two weeks thinking I was in a “funk” but actually I’m grieving. Grieving what was, and processing what is. And its not like I’m upset or sad or angry, I’m just withdrawn and craving solitude. This chapter of my life has been interesting. Really, really interesting. Thankfully I have Nick here to support me while I’m figuring myself out again. I’m a very lucky girl.
In other news, Nick did three sets of stairs at our house this evening, using just his hands on the hand rails, no crutch. He’s really excited about this because now that forces him to use his legs more. He needs to be using his right leg more than his left. It’s noticeably smaller and significantly weaker.
Nick Fener was up and at ’em early today. In fact, he was out of bed before I was. That’s a first! He got to the gym early and hopped on the treadmill for an 8 minute warm up. At a brisk 1 MPH, he was putting a lot of weight on his arms and tired quickly. Perhaps if he went just a little slower, he could concentrate on maintaining posture, placing his feet, and not using his arms. But after 8 minutes, at 1 mile an hour, the machine said he went about an eighth of a mile. Not too shabby!
Of course, the early rising had its cost. He took a two hour nap this afternoon. See, I knew it was too good to be true this morning. The dude needs his rest. Still. Especially now. He’s working so hard everyday, his body is constantly breaking itself down and repairing again.
For a girl who used to burn water, I’m really getting quite comfortable in the kitchen. Tonight I made a healthy meal of fresh asparagus and salmon crusted with a home made mixture of walnuts, pecans, pistachio nuts and cajun spices. It was seriously delicious!
I’ve also been juicing a lot, so we’ve been having fresh green vegetable juice to drink everyday. This weeks mixture was kale, collard greens, spinach, green beans, cucumber, carrots, apples, lemon, and ginger. We drink a big ol’ glass every morning. It’s a great way to kick start the day!
This is just a mere sampling of what Nick is up to at Project Walk. Check it out!
For some reason, I can’t get this video to play smooth on the blog page, but it plays perfectly on the YouTube page. Please click here to see it on the YouTube page. Thanks!
Nick and I had an intense conversation on the drive home from Project Walk this evening. We were both getting a little heated, but certainly not at each other. We were talking about the times when his doctors and surgeons told me he would “never walk again.” We’ve talked about it before, but tonight was the first time Nicks gotten even mildly angry about it.
How dare they tell his family something so definite on the very first night of his injury? And furthermore, once he was awake, each time they tested his feet for sensation or movement, they told us that whatever returns in the first three weeks is it; that’s all he’s going to get back. Then after several weeks, they changed it to three months. Either way, it’s complete bullshit! These doctors are putting ideas and expectations into their patients brains. Maybe they should be a little more aware of the facts before trying to educate the patients’ families.
Since we’ve been in the spinal cord injury world, we’ve learned that the window of maximum recovery is much longer than 3 weeks (more like 2 years), and varies greatly based on the individual. I wonder how much feeling and function might have returned in Nicks feet had they not been amputated? I only say that because his glutes, hamstrings and abductors are slowly waking up after 8 months. I am not implying that either of us are having second thoughts about cutting his feet off. Not at all! They were so badly broken, that even if sensation returned, they would have been unusable. I just wonder about it, that’s all.
Nick can’t wait until his next neurosurgeon appointment. He’s going to walk right in there and tell them, “Thanks a lot for telling my family that I’d never walk again. I’m glad we didn’t listen!” …or something like that. He has a few months to practice and get it right.
Stretching at the end of a great workout.
“My legs are feeling more like my legs. I feel more connected to them now. They used to feel like they were in a vice grip all the time, and now they feel much lighter”
This was part of a conversation I had with Nick this morning. He also told me how good it felt when a friend and fellow client at Project Walk seriously asked him yesterday if he actually had a spinal cord injury. Less than a year ago his spine surgeons told me he would never walk again, and now he’s being asked if he even has a spinal cord injury. That feels good!
Speaking of feeling good. Nick got a 90 minute massage today. Again, why isn’t he doing this more often? I have massaged him quite a bit over the last few months, but not nearly enough. And today was the first paid massage he’s had in a long time that he felt was exceptional. I’m pretty sure he’ll be seeing her again soon.
Nick is beginning to get a really sensitive spot at the bottom of his right stump. He says it feels like the bone is going to poke through the skin. Now, we’ve been monitoring it, and it’s not going to poke through; it just feels that way to him. How his prosthetist explained it to us is that the severed bone is still growing, trying to attach to another piece of bone. It’s the same exact healing process our bodies go through when we break a bone. So the tip of the bone in his stump has actually grown a bit. You can feel it when you touch it. That uneven piece of bone growth is poking his skin and scar tissue just the right way to make it super sensitive. Thankfully he doesn’t notice it when he’s standing. If he ever does, that’s when something will have to be done. For now, it’s ok, but it’s just weird!
It’s March already? Wow, time passes quickly. Life happens fast. I just remembered this evening that I’m 31 now instead of 30. I’m grateful for my youth still, but wonder where all the time went. Regarding the last nine and a half months, I’m glad the time has passed. I feel like a different person now. And Nick IS a different person now. But when will we be the people who are just going about living life again? Instead of the people recovering from a traumatic life event? I look forward to that shift. It’s closer now than its ever been. I can feel it coming.
Well I wasn’t going to blog about this, but I just can’t help it. I’m excited, and so is Nick. He is particularly stoked. I am writing this to make sure our young friends Sydney and Tiernan know that Nick beat them. They may be cuter than Nick, but he won the contest. He got done with wearing diapers first, just like he threatened that he would. It’s been about two weeks of experimenting now, and he’s found a great solution that doesn’t require the bulky, uncomfortable, embarrassing purple diapers. YAY!!!!! We’ve done a lot of joking about the “purple board shorts,” but I will never discount that needing to wear them as an adult could make anyone depressed. Nick handled the situation with grace and a smile, keeping his dignity in tact and never being too hard on himself. Again, another reason why I love him. We are so happy to be done with that phase. Shoot, I’m just happy it was a phase, and not a permanent thing. Sweet relief!!
Nope. The cat paint app isn’t getting old yet. At least not to me. Fener, on the other hand, is hardly amused.
Nick was working his balance and pushing weight, in a modified lunge position. Bri was getting fancy. She switches things up every single session. Nick said today was particularly great!
That is one high powered massager. Bri is using it here to loosen up Nicks quadriceps for a kneeling exercise they were doing. He loves it. Apparently it’s a $2600 piece of equipment. If that’s the case, it better be amazing!
This weekend was all about renewal for me, and exploration for Fener. I stayed home and hibernated while Nick was out and about.
After his training on Saturday we visited Mom. But before we went up to the house we decided to use the flat road as a pathway for a little walking. But wouldn’t you know, in the span of fifteen minutes of walking down the street in front of his Moms house, we ran into three(!) separate people Nick knows. I couldn’t believe it. And not just acquaintances either. He ran into two old buddies who were once great friends, but who he just hasn’t seen since the accident. It was all so very random and awesome!
When we got home from Moms, Nick literally walked from one car to the other and drove away to a friends house, leaving his wheelchair behind! The wheelchair and I stayed home and watched TV together while Nick was out experimenting with his own personal limits. Not only did he navigate a few various slopes and steps with the hand crutches, he sorted out the logistics of using the restroom without the convenience of being in a wheelchair. These are huge confidence builders for him, and me. Even though he still needs a spotter when on an uneven surface or steps, he is getting stronger, more stable and a lot more capable of anticipating balance issues. I only had to catch him once when he attempted to go up Moms stairs without the handrail, using crutches only. We immediately decided that was a bad idea though an had a pleasantly uneventful rest of the climb.
Video Footage from Nick’s latest therapy session at Project Walk. March 2, 2012
Thank God Project Walk is such a professional operation. Their lovely scheduler called us at 8am to let us know his primary therapist was out sick today (hope you feel better soon Bri), and that his other therapist Eric would be covering for her. We also discovered that we thought his therapy was later in the day, when it was really an early session. Good on them for being so thorough. Maybe we’ll get ourselves straight one of these days!
It’s a good thing Nick napped on the way down to Carlsbad, because he had a very intense workout. I think that’s the most I’ve seen him sweat at Project Walk. Eric said something I really liked today too. He said that as long as Nick is in their doors, he needs to be walking with the crutches. That’s a great idea. As exhausting as it is, he needs to begin developing the habit of reaching for the crutches rather than the wheelchair. Because at some point, it will truly be a matter of habit and comfort level, not ability. I don’t see him giving up the wheelchair completely any time soon, but the more he can get used to maneuvering around without it, the better. The only down side is that it’s impossible for him to do anything but just walk. So, he can’t carry anything or open doors, and he tires very easily. He’ll just have to work on it daily, and build slowly in order to get out of the chair entirely.
Today Nick wore a weighted hip belt for squats and side lunges. He’s going to be so sore this weekend!
Nick loves working out with Eric. Here, they were practicing standing from a seated position, without using his arms. But it didn’t quite end the way Eric was planning.
Spent a lot of time these past few days working on the Recovery Gallery page, and also on an up-coming Acknowledgements page (been working on that for weeks). I’m wanting to create a space with this blog that documents our whole story. I’m building something here. I don’t know what yet, but I’m building something.
About five months ago, we thought we would be ready to conquer the world by now. We had dreams of joining our friends at the skydiving boogie in Nicaragua this month. When I told Nick that the boogie starts tomorrow, he said he wished I hadn’t told him. The realization that life is moving so slowly for us is hard to swallow. Yet he’s healing so rapidly for the extent of his injuries. There’s just such a conflict of emotion here. I’ve been feeling pretty down this week. Maybe a little overwhelmed, maybe tired, but definitely not my positive, happy self. It’s okay though, because I am enjoying the quiet time I’m purposefully creating. And Nick, well Nick is just powering through all my shit like a true warrior. We really do make a great team.
Where are they now? NIck and Lindsay Fener can be found at FenerAdventures.com
Nick Fener 