Been feeling a little bit “blah” lately. Maybe that’s why I haven’t written much this past week. The words just haven’t been available. Despite this feeling, I’m forcing it out right now. We’ll call it laptop therapy. I can’t quite put my finger on what this “blah” feeling is. Is there such thing as a 7 month itch? Don’t get me wrong, I am beyond excited about Nicks miraculous accomplishments. That certainly isn’t the issue. But maybe I’m missing having accomplishments of my own. Maybe I am so absorbed into Nicks identity, that I’ve misplaced mine. Even my most prized creation of late, this blog, is about him.
Since we came home from the hospital in July, I’ve been focused on “getting our life back.” Notice that says “life,” not “lives.” I just realized how strange that is to say. That one simple statement sums it up completely. My 7 month itch feeling of “blah” is actually a sign that things are getting more and more normal. It’s a sign that maybe I’m ready to branch out a bit because he doesn’t need me as much as he once did. We spoke today about me going back to work, very part time, whenever I’m ready. The idea makes me nervous and a little bit excited. Nick says that he just wants me skydiving, and if that means I have to work in order to make it happen, then he’s all for it. I love him to the depths of my soul, but still require a little “me” time. I need something that’s mine again, that I enjoy, and that has nothing to do with Nick or his recovery, that’s all.
Speaking of Nick and his recovery…
We had a very busy Christmas and Christmas Eve. Of course I waited until the last minute to do everything. Typical. And when I say last minute, I mean last minute. Thank God I found a grocery store open at 10:30pm on Christmas Eve!
We spent Christmas day with Nick’s family and our friends Amanda and Paul. What a beautiful day! There was so much good food, so of course we stuffed ourselves. My crock pot sweet potato enchilada casserole was not a hit, but my crock pot sweet potato and apple sauce dish was. That’s fine, because we’ve got plenty of healthy enchiladas for the next few days!
Nick walked the stairs at Mom’s house, but this time he pushed himself even harder. Instead of stepping up and meeting the other foot on each step, he put his foot up to the next step and climbed the stairs like normal. That was not easy for him, but what a huge leap from the last time.
Every day we notice something new that is getting better or easier for him. I wish I could remember everything. It’s amazing, and feels so good to be a part of. Like today, he got into the drivers seat of the car like he used to by placing his right foot in first, and then sitting on the seat to bring his left leg in. Such a small maneuver, but he just wasn’t strong enough or coordinated enough to do it before. He can also hoist himself up to standing while at our bathroom sink so he can rinse his mouth under the faucet. Again, something he couldn’t do a month ago.
But the most thrilling change he has experienced this week, is the new pain medication. It’s working! This new medicine has dramatically improved his quality of life. Instead of Percocet, which is oxycodone with tylenol, he is now taking straight oxycodone. With the Percocet, there would be days where he was ingesting over 3000 milligrams of acetaminophen (Tylenol). That’s not good for anybody. And now we’ve discovered that the oxycodone by itself works way better. He is a little more groggy on it, but in minimal pain. He can sit up longer, be more active and push himself harder. His workouts are more productive, and he’s actually sleeping soundly for the first time since May. There were times when he would take 3 pills of Percocet and two hours later would still be in terrible pain. It only worked sometimes and was completely unpredictable. So far, after a week with the new medicine, his pain has been minimal with few, if any, spikes of excruciating pain. What a relief!