Got some shitty news today. A friend passed away this morning. He was just in our home a month ago, building the parallel bars in our hallway, selflessly giving his time and talent to help us out. I wonder if I thanked him properly, and if he felt how truly appreciative I am for his help. What a great guy! I’m very sorry and sad to know that he’s gone. After all that Nick and I have been through, this is another sobering reminder that you’ve just got to “get busy living.”
Even though “rest in peace” is so cliche, I sincerely hope that his spirit has now found peace.
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All posts for the month November, 2011
First time stepping up onto something. He was doing drills focusing on the movement and placement of his foot, trying to avoid hitting his toe on the way up. This really wore him out; it was intense on his upper body. They also practiced the “Look Ma, No Hands” trick. He’s beginning to work on his balance without use of the bars. It’s official, the real work has begun!
This morning we dropped off four huge bags of non-perishable food items for Food for Life. A big thank you to Jen Nootbaar for donating tons of items to help hungry families. We’ve been so blessed with the kindness and generosity of others, we felt this was a small, simple thing to do to give back. We all have a few items in our kitchens that have been gathering dust for too long, uneaten for whatever reason. Why not give that perfectly good food to people who need it? We don’t have much to give now, but just doing that little bit really felt good. It felt like a small step toward “giving back”, a natural response after all that’s been given to us. We’ll probably be working our entire lifetimes in order to get even with what’s been donated to us. That’s okay. We’ll start now and move slow.
Nick was pretty sore today after being up for so long yesterday, so he decided to make it a football watching day, parked on the couch. At each quarters’ end he got up to practice walking. But toward the end of the day, Nick was itching to get his blood really flowing. He wanted to go to the gym on his own if he could physically load and unload his own wheelchair into the car. Of course! That’s a fabulous idea. What’s particularly exceptional about this, is that the idea came from within him. His drive to, well, drive, and be independent is breathtaking. He wants his life back so bad.
I helped get him ready to go, and he loaded up the car and took off. He sat in the drivers seat and leaned over to break down the wheelchair, lifting each piece across his chest into the back seat. The intense pride I felt watching him back down the driveway, on his own, was so rewarding. He’s going to make it in this big, cruel world after all. I never doubted it, but it just seemed so far away. Until now. This doesn’t make him completely independent yet, but pretty close. It’s clear now that the sheer strength and flexibility required of him to bend and twist and lift to get his chair in the car is something he’s only just developed since starting with his trainer at the gym. There’s no way he could have done that a month ago. His torso was too weak. Not anymore though. We are brimming over with excitement at what’s to come. I couldn’t imagine being any more pleased with how life is going right now.
“We embrace the full spectrum of existence. It’s not just up. It’s not only like the sun. For the darkness affords us a beautiful revealing, an understanding, a contrast of the light.”
–John Friend
I’ve never seen Nick so sweaty as he was today working with his trainer. He was drenched! They don’t stop for the entire hour, and he’s really stepping it up now. Sometimes I wonder what the people at the gym think about when they see Nick there in his wheelchair with two prosthetic legs. I hope they say to themselves, “Well if he’s here every day, then I should be too. I have no excuse!” Watching him work hard and grow stronger motivates me, I can’t imagine it not motivating the people who see him at the gym.
No swimming today in lieu of going to the dropzone to visit friends. What a gorgeous day! We got there late and stayed quite a while after dark. We loved watching all the canopies land from the sunset load; the prettiest time of day to jump. Afterward we had dinner with some friends. It’s been a relaxing holiday weekend with minimal stress or “work”, just as it should be. For tomorrow, we were thinking about going to Fontana raceway to see our buddy Bart ride the track on his motorcycle. But since our friend Al isn’t going now, we probably won’t either. Might just relax at home instead.
Feels so good to stand with his arm around me. But I swear he feels taller than before!
We took the opportunity this “Black Friday” to sleep in and move slow. These days we don’t get to sleep late because of his daily appointments. I’ve been exhausted, so this was nice. A little lunch with friends, separately, and then off he went to go swimming. We had a quiet, peaceful night at home and a restful nights sleep. Time to bring on the weekend!
It’s a darn shame that our society only highlights and promotes gratitude one day a year, and that day usually consists of over indulging anyway. Gratitude should be practiced daily, not yearly. Because of Nicks accident I’ve been steadily practicing gratitude every single day for six months, and it feels good. So today was really no different than any other day in that respect. But certainly more significant than years past. Ever since I can remember, I’ve never been a big fan of holidays in general, particularly Thanksgiving, but this year was different. After this huge ordeal with Nick I’ve grown much closer to his family and further from my own. Going home to Sandee’s house for Thanksgiving dinner today actually felt like “going home”, a feeling long forgotten or maybe never even known. For the first time ever I even contributed to the feast by baking a special sweet potato dish. This was really a unique experience I tell you.
What I am most grateful for: my health (body, mind and soul); sharing my existence with the love of my life Nick Fener; the human experience of connecting and enjoying life with friends, family and animals; my positive attitude toward life; both the subtle and significant beauty all around me that is Mother Earth; my ability to have a meaningful and soulful connection with God without the confines or influence of religion; and the gift from India called yoga.
It’s funny how quickly perspective shifts when you almost lose it all. A year ago I was probably most thankful for Nick, my friends, skydiving and the pursuit of happiness. Well, I guess not much has changed, I just see everything a little different now. Situationally, I am clearly and undoubtedly most grateful for the physical, mental and financial support from our friends and family, near and far. If it wasn’t for the generosity of everyone in our lives we would be in serious trouble right now. The last six months were not easy, but with several hundred amazing people lifting us up and literally supporting us, we have made it this far. There is no way we could be so strong, healthy or positive without all the help we’ve received. We both know we haven’t been able to express the depth of our gratitude yet, and that many people who have helped us haven’t even received a formal thank you. We’ve got a lot of work on our hands if we are ever going to make right this situation, but please, please, just know our thanks are earnest and infinite. I thank you friends, with everything that I am, for sharing our joy, our pain, our burden and our story. Thank you for going out of your way in helping us and contributing to Nicks recovery (and my sanity!). Thank you for reading my blog so far. Thank you for being our friends.
“Good food. Good meat. Please Lord, let’s eat.”
—Nick saying grace at Thanksgiving dinner at the Fener home
Nicks therapist, Bill, just had a (planned) surgery today and will be out for quite some time. We wish him the best and will really miss him for therapy. We’ve known this was going to happen, and it just came so fast. We saw his replacement guy today. Nice guy. He made a neat suggestion we had never heard of. He mentioned Nick might benefit from a LiteGait machine while learning to walk. It’s basically a hanging harness that moves while you walk, or can be attached to a treadmill. It has various settings so you can adjust what percentage of body weight it’s holding. Sounds like a really great idea to help get Nick upright and less dependent upon using his arms to walk. He called a local rep for the company and is trying to get a demo for us. Hope he follows through with this, we’re excited!
More driving today, and he even figured out how to disconnect the hand controls from the foot pedals without my help. More swimming today, and he even got a new mask because his old one was flooding too much.
When we stopped at Submarina for lunch, we ran into a friend and his son. Great lunch with great unexpected company. Love that!
Then tonight, after a nap and some reading time, he was feeling good enough to help me in the kitchen preparing a dish for tomorrow. We realized that his tolerance for sitting up is getting better. He was up a long time today, and most days this past week. It appears as though the shots might be helping. It’s subtle, but significant. His quality of life would improve dramatically if sitting didn’t hurt so bad. And now, we notice it’s getting a little easier. In fact, we were very concerned that driving would be too painful. But it turns out that he doesn’t hurt much at all when he’s behind the wheel because he is so preoccupied with driving. When he’s riding in the right seat he’s always in pain because he just gets to sit there and think of how much pain he’s in. So, we’re moving forward, slowly but surely!
Nick drove today. Another huge victory for us! He’s such an awesome dude. I’m so lucky.
Nick’s behind the wheel again with removable hand controls. It’s a very simple system: push to go, pull to stop. Or is it the other way around? I don’t know. But he’s figuring it out rather quickly. His legs get in the way, so he drives without them. He only needs help putting the wheelchair in and out of the car. Other than that, he’s good to go!
Back to life, back to reality. Back to the future! That seems to be the focus around these parts. He is making such amazing progress, so quickly, we can’t help but throw fist fulls of positive ju-ju at the desired results. His walking is much less labored now after only three weeks and he is standing much taller now. He puts less weight in his hands, his 180’s are smoother and he’s walking forward and backward and side to side. He can stay standing for longer now and has developed a keen sense of where his feet are in relation to the ground and his body. Basically, he’s kicking major ass right about now! His daily hard work is showing and we couldn’t be happier. It’s easier to get through each day when we don’t look at the big picture. There is still A LOT of work to be done in his rehab process, but we know that if he keeps chiseling away, day by day, we will get there. So each day is simply building upon the last. Thats how we choose to view this journey and I guess it’s working for us.
Working on the super stealthy, side stepping, cross over maneuver. He’s practicing his moves for the backward skate session at the local roller rink.
Hanging out on the pier together. We just had the most incredible two days. Boy, did we need that!
Holy guacamole Batman, where do I begin? Bullet points, that’s where.
*We are only three away from receiving 1000 messages on the blog! That’s insane! Now, with that being said, please, PLEASE forgive me for the lack of responding over the past few months. There’s not a “reply” button, and that sucks. But I do want to say, THANK YOU for all the love and support from all our friends and family that has come through these blog messages. It’s a real pleasure to know so many loved ones are interested in my daily ramblings about the tedious process we are going through. It’s humbling and elevating all at the same time.
*Today is the 6 month anniversary of Nick’s skydiving accident. We are quietly celebrating. There’s a soothing calm in knowing how far Nick has come in such a short time. And similarly, there is a frenzying anxiety in knowing that we’ve been enduring this difficult journey now for six whole months. I’d say our general vibe is something in between those two states. And then, as we day dream of life six months from now, a subdued giddiness rushes over us at the thought of how distant our present reality will seem at that point.
*We just got back from a short breather down at the beach. Huge apologies to friends whom we didn’t call (everyone). We just wanted to break away and enjoy each others company without all the bullshit of life getting in our way. It’s amazing how completely recharged and refreshed we feel after a brief 48 hour break like that. That’s all it takes apparently. Forget month-long backpacking tours exploring the treasures of Southeast Asia. A weekend at the beach, a mere hour from our house is good enough for now.
The weather was absolutely gorgeous on Friday and Saturday. I really don’t think it’s possible to be any more perfect than it was. We strolled up and down the beach many times, engaged in hours of entertaining people watching, did lots of walking therapy along the concrete walls and drank our weight in hot herbal tea. Wow, putting it like that makes it seem like the perfect vacation for a couple of retired snowbirds. Well, it was perfect for us!
A few of our fondest memories: an outrageous ”locals” dress-up Bocci Ball competition, savory cream of spinach soup, saving $50 in parking because of the handicap parking pass, running along the beach while pushing Nick in his wheelchair, saving a big pink star fish that accidently got beached, meditating to the sound of the fireplace in our room, free lavish breakfast buffet each morning, a man with no legs doing handstands for money, eating a gourmet dinner outside in the rain while being serenaded by two phenomenal guitarists, surviving a Bikram class after indulging in happy hour, late night tapas by the pier, petting lots of friendly doggies, walking in the drizzly weather, daydreaming about all the beach front mansions we walked past…. but the best part of our vacation was getting home safely, and feeling grateful to be here. Nothing feels better than that.
There are no parallel bars here, but any wall will do. Been practicing side stepping, inspired by the beautiful view!
What a weird day full of polarities. I don’t know how to describe it right now, so I won’t even try. Yeah, today was really… something.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words…
Nick got his ass handed to him at the gym today. One hour with the trainer was followed by laying face down on a cushioned stretch table for 45 minutes recovering. It didn’t help that he slept poorly last night. He didn’t let that stop him though. We ended up swimming for an hour once he regained human status again.
He also got a professional massage today. I am embarrassed to admit that that was his first one since the accident. I’ve been massaging him a lot on my own massage table, but no matter how hard I try, it will never be the same as going to see someone. And despite getting a massage today, he was in so much pain tonight, I ended up rubbing his legs anyway. Every little bit helps, right?
Well, we’re all packed up and ready to go. Going to make like a prom dress and leaf. Not sure exactly where we’re staying, but we are taking this weekend to refresh, recharge and be in a different scenery. We NEED this! Badly.
“You are my soul mate” he said as he kissed me good night.
If you ever wonder how I’m holding up through all of this, just remember those words. I’m blessed and honored to be the one by his side. The trauma has passed, and soon too will the heartache and pain. And in the end I will never even think to question whether my sacrifices were worth it.
He had another cortisone shot in his tailbone today. If the results don’t show themselves after this treatment, we will not be going for a third. We are not giving any thought to that possibility though. Of course it’s going to help. Also, he has once again experienced some relief from the phantom pains. I think their presence serves as a measurement for the health of his mind. As soon as he began feeding his brain and soul positivity again, they disappeared. Our minds, and more specifically our thoughts, are more powerful in shaping our lives than we could ever imagine.
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.” -Buddha (No, I’m not Buddhist. I just appreciate truth when I see it or hear it.)
Totally surprise visit from Alex Allen today! This is the first picture Nick has taken while standing next to someone. He looks so tall. They say he’s 5’11”, but I suspect he’s at least 6’. But then again, he IS standing next to Alex.
Forgiveness. Today I am forgiving the people who abuse their handicap parking placard privileges. I am forgiving those who may technically be “disabled” but who don’t actually need to park in a handicap space everywhere they go. I am forgiving the masses who exercise their rights to a primo parking spot at the expense of people with wheelchairs having to unload in the middle of the parking lot, or resort to wheeling dangerously unnoticed behind rows of parked cars. I forgive the people who park in the limited blue spaces in the front of my gym, hop out of their cars and join me in the same fitness classes I am taking. I forgive these individuals for unknowingly making my life more difficult on a regular basis. I am letting go of the frustration and resentment I have experienced on many occasions when parking lot situations just don’t go my way. I will no longer be a victim of my own anger over something which I have no control of. As soon as Nick sheds the wheelchair, we will hopefully shed the limitations of needing the once-coveted handicap parking placard.
Some days you’re the honey badger, some days you’re the cobra. And some days you’re both. Today we are finding the permission in our hearts to know it’s okay either way.
Whenever one of us starts feeling a little down, we’ve been lifting each other up by encouraging the other one to make a verbal gratitude list. It’s hard to stay sad/mad/frustrated when you are ransacking your brain for all these wonderful things you’re grateful for, and then talking about them. It really works! Because inner peace, love and acceptance can only come from your conscious decision to focus on it.
Nick Fener showing off his progress on the parallel bars at Apex Physical Therapy. He got his prosthetics two weeks ago and has come a long way so far!
New parallel bars at APEX Physical Therapy, thanks to a gracious donation from one of Bills past clients. How cool is that?
Feeling inspired this evening. Inspired to be a better person, to look past peoples short-comings, to break my negative habits, to help those in need, and basically, just save the world. Today has been very uplifting. We received yet another appropriately fitting, life-affirming message at The Center for Spiritual Living this morning. We used to go there a few years back, but fizzled out of it. During our rough patch a week ago, we decided to visit again. And of course, we received just what we needed to hear. The same with this week. They spoke about taking charge of your habitual negative thought patterns in order to better your life. I won’t go deep into it, but we left feeling recharged and ready to take on this coming week. We were even joined by our friend Sue, a teacher at Nicks old High School. All her kids, from six different math classes, made Nick a Get Well card and filled it with kind and loving words. Many have found inspiration from his story. They want him to visit, so we’ll be heading down there this week at some point for a chance to meet and thank all these amazing kids. I can’t wait!
Tonight we were invited to an awards dinner with an organization called PossAbilities. Nicks therapist John from Ballard Rehab hospital invited us. Not only was it wonderful to catch up with John and meet his wife, but there was free food. Everyone loves free food! There were several hundred people there, enjoying this special evening in a beautifully decorated convention center hall. Many disabled athletes received scholarship money for equipment and education. PossAbilities awarded $73,000 in grants and scholarships tonight, and handed out many awards. They had a guest musician from Canada named Justin Hines who suffers from Larsen syndrome. Yeah I don’t really know what that is either, but I know it affects his joints, and he has been disabled from birth. He is very talented, has a great singing voice and inspires the audience between songs by talking about life. I loved when he was talking about seeing people for their abilities, rather than their disabilities. He does not physically look normal, but in his life, with his friends and colleagues, he is normal. He doesn’t allow them to see him for his disability. I also loved to see someone who was not dealt a fair hand in life find a true passion and follow it. I know dozens of privileged, able-bodied people who don’t live with even a fraction of the passion that man showed us tonight.
Today was supposed to be Nicks “rest day”, and technically he did rest due to the absence of working out. But I think he set the record for sitting up in his wheelchair for the longest amount of time. He sat up for a total of over seven hours. That’s seven hours between this morning and this evening. Such a huge improvement from a few months ago. We are so happy. It feels good to feel good!
On this most auspicious day, we have had good moods, tasty foods and positive spirits. Definitely one of our best days, emotionally and physically, in a while. The Nick Fener Super Shuttle (AKA little red Ford Escort) drove all over Riverside County today. Hypnosis and Thai lunch in Riverside, errands in Temecula, two week prosthetic check up in Murrieta (with NO waiting, he was on time!), and swimming at the gym in Menifee. All this with minimal pain. We’ve both been happy and excited today. Excited about our busy new schedule and the promising, prospective results that will develop. Even his prosthetist was blown away by how solid he was walking today compared to two weeks ago. Things are moving along beautifully. Slowly, but noticeably.
Here is Nick with our amazing hypnotherapist Julie Johnson. The few times we’ve seen her, we always leave her presence feeling happy, peaceful and centered. Nick saw her today for his returning phantom pains. She thinks his mini bout of negativity last week triggered the pain to return. Since phantom pain is all in the mind, her theory makes sense. Regardless, they spent the entire session working on it. We have referred a number of friends to see her, with varying results of course, but they have all loved her and felt so at peace after seeing her. As a thank you, she comped Nicks session today, saying it was a “tithing to the Universe”. Love that “pay it forward” attitude! Her website is www.creativeguidedimagery.com
He wasn’t as sore as we thought he’d be today. In fact, he wasn’t too sore for an appointment with physical therapy and he wasn’t too sore to swim for ninety minutes either. I did massage his hips, butt and legs this morning though. I’ve been massaging him a lot lately. And it seems to be helping, at least for the muscle soreness.
It pissed me off to report this, but the phantom pains are back. What a serious bummer! They’ve been gone since he got hypnotized in August. And now they are keeping him up at night again, and are completely out of control and intolerable. So naturally we’ve booked another appointment with Julie, his hypnotherapist. Get this, he is seeing her tomorrow, on 11/11/11 at 11 AM. Something magnificent has got to come from this! It just HAS to.
Look Ma, no hands! Practicing with his new walker today was so much easier than with the non-wheeled walker. He is still completely reliant on Bills support though. At this point he couldn’t walk with the walker alone. That’s what the parallel bars are for. It’s just empowering to see him using the walker though. It’s a step in the right direction.
Working hard at the gym with his new trainer Jamon. Here he was throwing the rope up and down for thirty seconds and then he had to pull it all the way into him with a weight on the end, and repeat.
I haven’t seen Nick sweat so much in a very long time! His trainer pushed him to the edge today. It was awesome to see. Nicks always been naturally fit and muscular (don’t you hate that?) and rarely did he “work out”. So this training program is really going to serve to educate as well as motivate him. They did a lot of core work by twisting and bending from the chair and executing movements that are similar to everyday tasks he will be encountering. I know he will be mega sore tomorrow, but he’s felt great all evening. That reminds me of their “inspiring thought” for today’s workout: A body in motion stays in motion. Well, his body is in motion now. And there is no stopping him. He wants it bad, you can see it in his eyes.
Back, and better than before. It’s obvious we needed that dramatic shift in perspective in order to continue on. Was tough at the time, but I’m grateful to have that deep experiential understanding about this journey. I guess we can only climb this mountain for so long while holding our heads high. We are bound to trip on something sooner or later. The real measure of our progress is how quickly we get back up again. This fall was a short one. Moving on!
Nick had a great initial consult meeting with a personal trainer at the gym today. They discussed goals; physical, mental and spiritual. Nick will begin a program with him tomorrow as an extension to the PT he is already doing. He needs true fitness guidance and a path to gain over-all strength. This man seems like the perfect addition to Nicks team.
We had dinner with some great friends tonight, a small thank you for all they’ve done for us. When we met them at the restaurants bar, Nick wheeled in, lined up with the bar, and pulled himself up to standing to order himself a beer from the bartender. Seeing him standing upright there, in a significant real-life situation was so insanely satisfying. I wanted to scream, “Look how far you’ve come baby!” We were all so proud. At the end, Nicks fortune cookie read: Keep your feet on the ground even though friends flatter you. Could that be any funnier? Especially since our friends were seeing Nicks legs for the first time. Well, yes. Yes it could get funnier. He jokingly griped to the waitress about what the cookie said, wheeled back away from the table and pulled his leg off in protest. Then, the manager came. She got the same show, with the same group of people in a fit of hysterical laughter. Despite the natural instinct to feel awkward, the staff handled Nicks delicate situation perfectly. And we even got a bunch of free appetizer cards for our next visit. Score!!
I feel like we are emerging, triumphantly, from a brief encounter in an emotional black hole. We had a dark weekend, choking reality by the throat, and throwing it around, demanding a different explanation. Despite the struggle, we didn’t get one. A few days of demonized head space, and hours of soul searching later, we are back on track. Full speed ahead.
I have a theory about what happened.
We have had very few depressing times like this since his accident. We’ve been positive, happy and accepting most of the time. So to have negativity hit us hard five months later, makes me feel like there must be something else at play here. Nick has been looking forward to getting his legs for five months. In his (our) mind, those legs were the end, the beginning, and the answer, all rolled into one defining moment. Well, that moment arrived, there were no fireworks, and life did not return back to normal.
We knew it wouldn’t be a magical fix, but the great anticipation naturally brought a let down when the legs didn’t automatically solve all his problems. And getting the legs also brought the knowledge of just how difficult this recovery is going to be. We could only guess before, but now we know. The process is going to be ultra mega slow. Way slower than we could have imagined. This really bummed him out. He doesn’t want to be lame and busted up any longer than is absolutely necessary. Personally, I see hope in the fact that we still have a long way to go. It feels like we just got the deadline extended on a huge project we’ve been working on. And we can use that extra time too! He doesn’t want to wait. But I see this as a sign that he is no where near his full recovery potential. Thank God, because there are still many muscles and body functions he needs to regain. And it’s going to take time for all that healing.
Nick is very aware that his mental space, good or ugly, will have a huge effect on his recovery. He picked up Napoleon Hill’s book again: You Can Work Your Own Miracles. Reading, meditating and reflecting on his journey so far has enabled him to pull through this mess in a hurry. He’s feeling good again. It’s time to get busy living, even if we are not yet where we want to be. Just got to get busy living.
Swimming laps. He did 33 laps in an hour the other day. Not bad for a guy with no feet to propel him along.
Been a rough day or two, mentally and emotionally. The reality of what lies ahead in the short term and unknown long term is hitting us. Haven’t been the happiest of days, but I’m sure this funk will roll right through like a heat wave.
If you’re healthy, enjoy every moment of feeling good. Don’t wait to live until it’s too late. Your health is your most valuable asset. It’s not your home or your car or your money. None of those things will matter if you are unhealthy and unable to use your body or mind. I’ve known this ever since my Mom was ill, although I didn’t always listen. Now, with Nick in limbo, spending hours at doctors offices, in pain and unable to live our previous life, it all comes flooding back. We watched another important documentary last night about the connection between food and disease: FORKS OVER KNIVES. A critical examination of our food choices and a blueprint for maintaining health and vitality well into your eighties and beyond. I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner. I’m sorry this information is so slow to make it’s way mainstream. If you want a real eye opener, check it out. It’s on Netflix and available online at www.forksoverknives.com
—written in the crowded waiting room of a gastro – intestinal specialty clinic, while waiting for almost two hours. I wonder how many digestive illnesses could be treated or even reversed with this information?
PMG and Eli, two great men gone too soon. And Fener, another great man, lucky and grateful beyond measure to still be alive. Love and respect!
Intolerable levels of pain last night, and experiencing mild improvement today. We’ve been told that cortisone shots can take up to three days to kick in. And even then, he will likely need the series of three for max results. When I talk about Nicks pain, I’m referring to his tailbone area; his coccyx. Strange that he didn’t actually break this, but it’s what hurts the most. It’s why he still cannot sit up for any extended period of time without having to lay down. It’s why he is still on Percocet several times a day. If his damn tailbone didn’t hurt constantly, the entire picture of our current daily life would be much different. But for now we continue seeking the solution. Therapy, learning to stand and walk, massage, swimming, stretching, acupuncture, sleeping on a better mattress, changing his diet and supplements, cold laser therapy, detoxing, colloidal silver, using a special air cushion on his wheelchair and seeing a pain specialist. We are trying it all, but we’re still open to suggestions.
Yesterday he timed himself while putting on his legs. First he rolls the gel liners on, then puts on an extra sock for thickness, then he lines up the metal pin on the liner with the hole in the socket and snaps them right into place. Easy! Early on, we were told that each leg would take about ten minutes to put on. That really scared us. Every single day for the rest of his life he would have to spend twenty minutes just securing his legs? But to our relief, yesterday he put his legs on in only one minute twenty four seconds! And I’m sure, over time he will get more efficient and likely drop that time down to under one minute.
He wore his legs almost all day yesterday. Just maneuvering around with those heavy weights dangling from his knees is a work out. He didn’t actually get up to practice walking at all. He wanted to give his knees a break from the day before. That, and we weren’t home much at all. He did, however, try something new at the gym with his legs on. Instead of swimming last night, he cycled on a stationary bike. If his quads weren’t sore before, they are now! Just ten minutes on that bike was enough for now. He may not realize it, but he is likely putting in valuable practice time to do a triathlon one day.
I got up in the air again yesterday, thanks to Nicks urging. It was our only day without appointments, so we wanted to do something fun. And his idea of fun was to lay in the shade and watch me skydive. Ok dude, not a problem! My two jumps yesterday make for a whopping total of five since Nicks accident. A massive change from our once grueling work schedule of about a hundred jumps each month. Spending time immersed in an activity that brings great joy, just because, is the essence of pure being. I felt so at home up there, once the unfamiliar nerves of anticipation calmed down. I was only anxious prior to the first one, then it felt natural again as soon as I left the plane. Feeling free and full of life like that reminded me why this journey is so important. We learn how to adapt and survive in times of strife and heartache, so that the moments of happiness and peace are more easily absorbed and appreciated. At least that’s what we are telling ourselves.
This morning we saw his pain management doctor again for a steroid shot in his lower back. This is a first step to get him off the narcotic pain medicine. Honestly, I’m not sure how I feel about injecting him with that shit, especially since we are trying to ingest only healthy and natural foods and supplements. But, the plain truth is that using these narcotics to treat his pain is grossly unhealthy, very taxing to some of the other vital systems in his body, and a terrible option for long term pain relief. So, we are trying the localized steroid injections for a while. Then, once he’s on his feet for a few months, and we have a better idea of where his daily pain levels are, we might opt for a spinal cord stimulator trial. But that’s six months or more down the road. For now, it seems to be working well, but we haven’t given it the real test yet of sitting in his wheel chair for long periods of time. It’s only been three hours after all.
A super hard work out at his physical therapy appointment, an epic afternoon nap, and an hour and a half of swimming laps at the gym. This is the schedule of a man who doesn’t have time to mess around. His motto used to be “I’m either working hard or playing hard”. Now it’s “I’m either working hard, or sleeping hard!”
Nick Fener 