A good look at how long his back scar is. To think, only five months ago they had him face down for 13 hours, wide open from end to end of that scar, repairing his badly broken vertebrae. Now here he is up on his feet, walking again! Truly a miracle. And those two nobs sticking out on his lower back? Those are two of the bolts holding his spine together with his hip bone.
Are they stretching? Or is Bill playing air guitar on Nicks leg?
Trick or Treat, smell my… never mind, I don’t have feet.
Nick Fener, while driving past a group of trick or treaters on Halloween night
Squeeze! Working the adductor muscles of his inner thighs. They are much stronger than his outer thighs.
Nick is sore. Really sore. The good kind of sore though. The “I just did Bootcamp after not exercising for the last two years” sore. The “I can’t even sit on the toilet because I did too many squats and lunges” sore. The “I don’t have any freakin’ feet but I’m learning to walk again anyway” sore. He’s pushing himself, but not going overboard. He swam today, lifted weights and did about 15 laps on the parallel bars. Soreness is inevitable.
He’s getting more comfortable on his new stilts. Yet I think I spoke too soon about the sockets not hurting, because today the right one was bothering him a little. This is exactly why we already have another appointment set up to check the fit and make any necessary adjustments. That’s in 10 days. Then we’ll see Phil again a month after that as well.
Show off! The second time using his parallel bars and he briefly let’s go of one hand.
“Hi!”
It’s the weirdest thing, to see Nick’s feet sitting on the floor, not attached to his body. It’s a completely different mind trick all together. Just when I thought I was getting used to the nubs, now there are calves and feet, wearing his old shoes, just laying on the floor. I wonder how long until this becomes normal?
His prosthetist wants him to start slowly, only wearing the legs one hour at a time, three times a day. Just having them on wears him out. They’re heavy! It’s going to be a lot of work to build the strength in his legs and hips to carry those prosthetics around all day. So for now, they spend a lot of time on the floor next to him, kind of like the dogs do. When he is walking though, he says he can feel his heel hit the ground and roll to the ball of his foot. He can tell where the foot is landing beneath him. It’s incredible that that awareness is automatically with him. It’s not very painful for him either. His stumps don’t hurt the way we imagined them to. The sockets are pretty comfortable. The pain he feels is in his back and legs, where the injury and atrophy are. His new feet are so cool. They look just like feet. The ankles can rotate slightly to accomodate the way our bodies can twist. But compared to our natural ankles, his don’t have nearly the flex or bend. We were talking this morning about how this will affect his ability to walk downhill or uphill. Seems like it might be quite a challenge. There are many things we haven’t even thought of yet, that might be obstacles to overcome. I guess we will just have to meet these obstacles as they come, kindly say hello, then kick them to the ground, trample over them and be on our merry way. Atleast that’s how I see this rehabilitation going over next few months.
Tonight Nick told me that he is sometimes overwhelmed by the daunting amount of hard work laid out in front of him. Then he compares it to the sweat and pain of the past five months. We both realize that whatever he is facing in the future cannot possibly be as bad as what he’s already been through. It really helps him to look at it like this. And when I take the temperature, emotionally, of my experiences over the past five months, the good outshines the bad. I am so grateful to be able to say that. And so is he. Life ain’t that bad. It’s just curious and unfamiliar.
Super awesome, and cheap (only $60 bucks!) personal parallel bars that were custom built for our hallway. Thank you Paul and Dennis! Now he can practice standing and walking anytime he wants. I haven’t been this excited since yesterday when he got his legs!
Today is the first day of the rest of Nicks life. Although this is true for every person, every day, there is a deeper meaning for him today. Get used to this look, because this is the new Nick Fener. He’s locked and loaded, ready to go!
Beyond amazing. I never imagined that meeting a horse could be so extraordinary! Thank you Pauline, Charla and Cassie for the experience of a lifetime (and patiently answering all of my “noobie” questions).
For the first time in over a month, I “took the day off” from caring for Nick. One friend took him to physical therapy and out to lunch. Then another friend came over to help at home and spend time with him. It only amounted to about four and a half hours, but the effects last much longer. Me? I went horseback riding for the first time in my life. To experience something brand new, to feel that nervous surge of adrenaline again, to be outside in nature on a perfect day, all these things shifted my panorama. Riding on and connecting with that beautiful, majestic horse this afternoon soothed my shaken soul.
I want Nick to feel what I felt today. And I bet he will, tomorrow, when he holds his newly crafted legs for the first time.
We have spent a lot of time with the Fener clan this week. I’ve loved it! His brothers, Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle and especially Nick, are all such neat people. Get them all together, add me and Nancy, and it’s non stop laughter, story telling and ball busting; just like I always imagined family time to be.
Woke up feeling that a mini vacation is desperately needed. Then saw two separate friends who I haven’t seen or spoken to since Nicks accident. They each said to me they could tell we needed a break and change of scenery. I think one of them said I needed to spark it up a little, referring to life in general. This is not coincidence, but confirmation that we should take a weekend away soon. Very soon.
With less than 40 hours until we get to pick up Nicks legs, the anticipation is high. We keep giggling about how familiar this feeling is. In August we counted down the hours and days leading up to Nicks last back surgery. And look how long it’s been since those days? Seems an entirely different lifetime ago. And this simple realization helps get us past the difficult days. I find peace knowing that one day we will look back and vaguely remember this strange time when we were foaming at the mouth just to get our hands on Nicks legs.
It’s Dans birthday today, so we had a delicious dinner at Moms house. The whole family was there laughing and enjoying each others company. Dan got the funniest gift. It’s a sexy swimsuit calendar full of all the San Diego Chargers girls. When he opened it up we realized there was actually no calendar, only a list of numbers down the side of each month. Perfect! Who needs to know what day it is when you have the Chargers girls! Happy Birthday Dan! We are so blessed to have you living with us. You’re a great housemate, friend and brother. We love you and hope you enjoy living with us as much as we enjoy having you with us.
Day dreamin’ on a perfect afternoon.
Nicks new arch position. Can’t imagine this being exciting to anyone besides skydivers and surfers. A few months ago he couldn’t get up on his elbows because his back and hips were too stiff. Now he’s stretching out. Yogis call this Sphynx pose.
Too sore to swim because Bill kicked his ass yesterday. So today we put him on the hand bike at the gym and he peddled for a while before lifting weights. He said it felt good to switch up the program a bit and break a sweat.
Tonight we had many more laughs and good times with the Fener clan. Our Aunt and Uncle remind me to enjoy the journey. I mean it. Aunt Viv literally reminded me that once you’re at the destination, it’s not really a destination, it’s just “now”. I feel like we keep getting so wrapped up in “when things get back to normal” that we forget that these are also important days in our lives. Just because we are focused on a huge goal, doesn’t mean we can’t live these days to their fullest. It’s so easy for both of us to get tangled in errands and appointments and chores that we forget to have fun.
Nicks been getting dizzy lately when he rolls over or sits up. So we figured it was about time to finally see a doctor about it. Turns out he probably has Positional Vertigo. Ya know, because he didn’t have enough to deal with already. The doc gave him some exercises to do to help correct it, but unfortunately there’s not a whole lot we can do. Good news is that it’s nothing too serious.
Aunt Viv and Uncle Neil are in town! Today was the beginning of a fantastic Fener-filled, food feasting, foot joke free-for-all few days (some alliteration for Vivs vivacious vocabulary!). After a tasty lunch at the Yard House we spent all afternoon and evening at Nicks Moms house. That’s the first time we’ve been able to go there since we got home. After our experiment with getting Nick upstairs last weekend in Oxnard, we have a way to get him up to Moms place now. It just requires both Seth and Dan to be there. Not only did we get to catch up with family and relax on the couch, but I spent hours cuddling with my puppy MIA. Hadn’t seen her in about two months. We’re still not quite ready to being her home, but it’s coming soon. Broke both our hearts to leave her tonight.
I’m not sure why, but this picture kind of creeps me out. But this is his new bad ass walker my Dad bought him. Not sure when it will be safe for him to use it, but at least we have it ready to use when he’s ready. Ergo grip handles, rear-wheel hand brakes, seat with basket and back rest; he will be stylin!
Yesterday his prosthetist told us we could customize his sockets with any fabric design we want. So today, we made our way down to Joanns fabric store in Temecula to pick something out. The store was ridiculously busy. After finding the perfect roll, we grabbed a number at the cutting table to have our small amount of fabric cut off the large roll. As I pulled number 99, I looked up to see they were only on number 15! Surely this wasn’t correct, so I asked several people standing there waiting. Sure enough, there were 84 people ahead of us waiting to get their damn fabric cut. Nick and I reluctantly sat there for fifteen minutes and watched them only take numbers up to 23. After fifteen minutes there were still 76 people ahead of us. This just wasn’t going to work. He was very uncomfortable sitting there and his tailbone pain was getting worse and worse. But if we didn’t get the fabric now, there was no other time before Monday morning to get it. Just as we thought about giving up, Nick spots a woman he knows from Canyon Lake. Like a saint, she offered to switch numbers with us. She had number 25. We were loading up into the car, with our two yards of fabric, only five minutes later.
And how did we even find out that we could custom design the sockets in the first place? Nick ran into an old friend from Jr High school at the prosthetists office yesterday. He lost his leg, above the knee, in a bad car accident two years ago. He took pride in showing off his new custom designed socket. The office failed to mention that we could provide our own fabric for it until we saw his. And that brings us full circle.
We run into somebody Nick knows almost everywhere we go. It’s amazing! And people always seem very genuinely happy to see him. This wasn’t the first time, or the last time, that a friendly familiar face randomly helped us in a stressful or uncertain situation.
Here are a few bonus fun factoids from yesterdays leg fitting. After Nicks first attempt, he mentioned that it was much easier than he thought it would be. He also said that he can feel where his foot is placed on the ground below him. Strange that he can sense that already. His legs were a little swollen yesterday and the right one barely fit in the socket to click down the minimum amount. He has to wear his shrinker socks a lot more this week to keep the swelling down so his legs will fit properly. We found out that Phil didn’t make the arm for the champion surfer girl after all. Instead, he actually made the arm for the drummer of Def Leopard. He finally had a prosthetic made more than ten years after he lost it, because his wife made him get one. See, fun little bonus factoids!
I could spend hours staring at all the pictures I took this afternoon. It just doesn’t get old. My heart pitter-patters when I see Nick standing with his old shoes on. Almost back to normal.
Leading up to this appointment today we were both calmly nervous. We had our doubts whether he would be able to stand up or not. Boy did he really shatter those silly unfounded doubts! He walked down the parallel bars three times, and each was dramatically smoother and stronger than the previous one. His left leg is strong but his right still has a way to go. It wobbled quite a bit as he would pull it through in front of the left. Phil mentioned maybe a knee brace temporarily for stabilization. Whatever, so long as he’s walking.
And his pain? Not even mentionable while he was standing. Blame it on adrenaline if you wish, but our bodies are meant to move and be active. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that he wasn’t in pain while walking. I suspect his pain will always be less while he is intensely focused on something else. Add that to the fact that he is upright and moving his stiff body, and it makes perfect sense.
Despite my Dad getting Nick a killer walker, we realized today that there is still a long road ahead just using the parallel bars. Stability won’t come over night. After a quick search online for parallel bars for our home, we found nothing that would work for our situation. Just looking for a lead, maybe to buy, maybe to rent. Will continue looking tomorrow. It makes sense that he needs anytime-access to a safe place to practice walking. A safe place we don’t have to drive to or burden anybody else at.
We haven’t been this emotionally high in a long time. Today is a day I will never forget. I will never forget that deep sense of pride for being a part of this all. For having such a strong, determined warrior by my side. The emotions were heavy as I visualized a year from now, how easy life will be. I can SEE it now! And so can he. It’s right around the corner, we just have to do the work.
These are his temporary, clear sockets attached to his permanent legs and feet. They made the initial sockets clear to test for fit. Well, they fit, so the next step is to make the permanent carbon fiber ones. We hate to wait another week, but they’ll be ready next Friday. Then we’ll take them home and let the Livin’ commence!
Kickin’ ass on his second attempt walking down the parallel bars. He had about 70% of his weight on his hands and about 30% on his feet. Not bad for day one.
He said it felt good to finally look down toward his feet and see a pair of shoes. He looks complete again. It was very emotional for me to see him walking. We’ve been dreaming of this for so long.
On his third time walking down the parallel bars he decided to challenge himself by looking ahead, instead of down at his feet.
One of our favorite things in the entire world is to see kids’ reactions to Nicks amputated legs. They are so raw, innocent and unfiltered. Any time we run across children in public we get a kick out of their stares and looks of wonder. But this evening was our first sincere experience with children we know who were discovering his nubs for the first time. A quick stop to drop something with my friend Blue stirred up the innocent curiosity in her two kids’ imaginations, and they came out to the car to see “the legs.” They both wanted to see his nubs without the shrinker socks, and her boy James wanted to touch them. He laughed so hard when he squeezed Nicks flabby nub that’s “the size of a babies leg.” When Nick jiggled his calf muscle they erupted into infectious giggles and had me nearly in tears. They were shining flashlights in the car, asking questions and telling us about the movie in which a dolphin gets a prosthetic tail. Here were two smart, beautiful children fearlessly learning and experiencing something most people would consider too awkward to approach. What an incredibly special moment to savor on this random Thursday night, exactly five months after Nicks accident.
The tender side of physical therapy.
The fortune cookie tells no lie! Would have crumbled time after time without our friends. The uplifting physical and emotional support continues every day. What a true blessing.
What a great day! One measurement for the awesomeness of our day is how many stops Nick can make, willingly and without excessive pain, while we are out. Three stops is pretty awesome right now. That’s eight ins and eight outs of our car. And it’s potentially quite a long time for him sitting up. Today he felt good, with very little pain and very few pain pills. Looks like we are moving in the right direction.
He started back with physical therapy again at Bills place. We really missed it. Bill really knows his stuff, and is constantly schooling us. He had Nick upright, walking forward and backward on his knees. Just a little fancy footwork to prepare for getting his prosthetics next week.
What a nice day. We really have some incredible friends. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Boy did I need that laughter therapy. Thank you!
Nicks brother Seth was hanging out here all day. In fact, he’s even staying the night and going swimming with us tomorrow. What a treat! All three Fener boys sleeping under one roof! This is so cool. And to top it off, Seth is treating me to a pedicure. I didn’t find time to go today, but hopefully I do tomorrow.
Nick is joining my gym tomorrow. It’s getting too cold for outdoor swimming now. And they have a lift that will lower him into and hoist him out of the pool. Perfect! In the future, I can get him set up in the pool and go do my own work out. How’s that for efficiency?
Today we didn’t get a whole lot done. He’s having more pain while sitting in his chair. Maybe it’s because he hasn’t swam in two days, maybe it’s because he’s on less pain medicine. I don’t know why, but it sucks.
Getting a hair cut! FINALLY! He went from “Homeless Vogue” to “Runway Model” in a few quick snips. Love it!
Hangin at the beach in Oxnard with Jared, Ina and Carson, our hosts for the art auction weekend. Was a beautifully clear, unusually warm day. It was perfect!
Well that was fun; I was sick all day yesterday. Big Thank You to our bud Paul Rodriguez for saving the day on a moments notice. He took over all my responsibilities for the day, and even helped take care of me. I was in bed all day and night. It figures something would slow down the positive momentum from our amazing weekend. I’m much better today, although not quite “all there” mentally or physically. Tomorrow I’ll be kickin’ ass again though, I know it.
The Art Benefit Auction for Nick was so unbelievably cool. The vibe was unlike most art shows. The studio was alive and breathing. It was… fun! Our friends did an amazing job promoting the show. There were so many people we didn’t know there. At one point there were wall to wall people in the main area. People were browsing each of the 70+ beautiful pieces hung along the walls. Everyone was there to get some unique art; I even witnessed several bidding wars. There were dozens of paintings, drawings and photographs on canvas. Skydive Camarillo even donated a tandem skydive! My absolute favorite piece of the night sold for $150. Of course I was eyeing the bidding sheet, hoping it wouldn’t sell. I wanted it to take it home. But somehow, my second and third favorite pieces didn’t sell, and I made sure to grab them at the end of the night.
After a sufficient amount of bidding time had elapsed, yet before the auction closed, the band Alive at 27 played a set for us. The singer is our friends Carson, Monica and Parkers’ cousin. They rocked! Very talented musicians, just getting started with this new band. Check them out on YouTube. They donated half of their T-shirt sales to us. Thanks guys!
And thank you most of all to Carson Hill, Monica Hill, Parker Forbes, Jared Driscoll, and Dave Barton. Not only did they mastermind this entire event, collect art for months, create their own pieces for the show, promote the show relentlessly and gut their tattoo studio to put it on, but they’re really cool people with huge hearts. They really stepped to the plate to help us out when we needed it most. Thanks guys!
We stayed the night at Carson’s house in Oxnard. Being in a new bed, in a town we’ve never seen, spending time with friends who we rarely see was such a treat. Like I said, it was refreshing. We felt enlivened and recharged. The next day happened to be Jared’s 30th Birthday. And instead of driving back to go skydiving, he stayed to hang out with us. We went to a yummy breakfast at a cute little seaside breakfast joint.We walked along a jetty-side walkway down to the ocean, and just hung out together talking shit and sharing stories. My friend Ina even put funky pink and blonde extensions in my hair. We will be back, Oxnard. Only next time, Carson and Jared won’t have to carry Nick up and down a flight of stairs in his wheelchair. He’ll be walking those stairs!
Now that we’re home it’s back to business as usual. Swimming, relaxing, doctors appointments, ya know, the fun stuff. He returns to formal physical therapy tomorrow with Bill at Apex PT in Murrieta. Then, Friday is the big day! Finally, he will stand on prosthetics for the first time. We’ve been waiting forever. He’s about to start a whole new journey.
Our friends Claire and Danillo drove up to Oxnard to catch up with us and buy some art. Love them!
After an easy three hour drive, we are home safe from Oxnard with a cool emotional high. On all levels, this weekend was just what Nick and I needed to recharge our batteries and break up the monotony of daily life right now. And I hate to put it off another day, but writing about the art auction deserves a rested and alert Lindsay. Will catch up tomorrow.
Art Benefit Auction at Neuma Studios in Oxnard. What an incredible night! HUGE success! All the details tomorrow, but here is a quick panoramic photo taken while “Alive at 27” was playing. Seriously talented band, over 70 custom pieces of art, a fun and uplifting vibe, many new friends and a few oldies! Couldn’t have imagined it going any better. Absolutely perfect night. Oh, and I even left with two pieces of art that will always remind me of this event. I took home the flower painting on the left side of this photo here, along with another unique piece from an artist in Argentina. How cool!!! Thank You Carson Hill and Monica Hill!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Just got home from an amazing evening out at the dropzone. Tonight was a fundraiser for spinal cord research. They are so close to finding a cure. In fact, over the last year they’ve been regenerating spinal nerves in mice and primates. They need more funding to continue the research and trials in order to safely bring this ground breaking treatment to human beings. Tonight, Dr. Os, one of the head neuroscientists at the Reeves/Irvine Research Center who is leading this research team, came out to speak to us and answer questions. They showed a video overview of their recent findings, the science behind it and what it will take to keep moving forward. I’ll be posting this video just as soon as I can get my hands on it. The fundraising efforts at Skydive Perris will continue Saturday evening with more raffles and auctions. They will also be showing the video I’m talking about. It’s such an amazing cause. Get down to Skydive Perris to purchase raffle tickets or go out for dinner and the live auction tomorrow night.
We, of course, won’t be able to make it tomorrow evening to Skydive Perris. We are attending a very special event in Oxnard. The Art Benefit Auction for Nick is tomorrow, starting at 6pm. Since it’s a long haul to Oxnard, Carson has offered us to stay at his house for the night. Awesome! I need a change of scenery and some good quality time with some awesome friends. So, if you’re in the L.A/Ventura County area, come check out the art auction. They have dozens of unique pieces up for grabs, beer, wine and a killer band. We are so excited. It felt great to get out tonight, so more of a good thing is a good thing. Yeah!
What I woke to this morning. He loves cuddling with her.
Time goes by way too fast. The slower we move, the faster it goes. We can have a very busy, full day, and only do one or two things. It’s hard to get used to it, but slowly we are. Just like everything else.
Great day today. Two hours of weights and stretching at the gym. Tried to go swimming, but ran out of energy.
We have finally booked an appointment with a pain specialist. Their goal is to get Nick living pain free with no narcotics. Funny, that’s our goal too! That appointment is in two weeks.
Mastering the art of patience now, as we approach the tenth day since his prosthetic fitting.
Patience.
The Urodynamics test went well. And by that, I mean that nobody got injured or offended. It really wasn’t a huge deal, but I kept picturing myself going through it. No way! In fact, most of the awkward or painful situations Nick has endured over the past few months would just ruin me. I’m way too modest! Too sissy. So anyway, they pumped him full of liquid and then monitored his bladders activity while talking, coughing, relaxing, pushing, etc. The doctor will give us results next week, but we already know the basics of what he will say. His spinal cord injury damaged his bladder. Duh, we deal with that inconvenience every three to four hours every single day. We plan our activities around it. This may sound dramatic, but his pee schedule rules our life. But after this test, at least we will have the medical facts about what’s going on with him. That should help us in some way or another.
We finally made it down to the health food store this afternoon. We are now loaded up with more natural protein powder to help put some weight on him. We were joking that he could make millions writing about his weight loss secrets. Cut your legs off and shed 15 to 20 pounds instantly! Don’t eat or drink for seven days and just watch the fat melt away. It’s like magic! He could write mini-pieces that could be published in the national tabloids next to the Bat Boy and Elvis sighting stories. I finally see a solution to our lifetime medical expenses and lost wages. We will call it Nick Feners permanent weight and height reduction quick fix. No? Ok, back to the brainstorming then.
I never made it to the spinal cord fundraiser poker game this evening. I was so sad about missing it too. My stomach got upset and I was just unable to make it down there. I’d like to send a huge thank you to my friends who went to support such a valuable cause! Thank You! We are looking forward to the dinner, auction and live music on Friday night though. It’s at Skydive Perris starting at 6pm. Then on Saturday we are heading up to Neuma studios in Oxnard for the art benefit auction for Nick. We’ve got a super cool weekend planned! Can’t wait!
The Man Purse. Only a confident man could embrace it!
This morning while getting Nick dressed, for the first time since his accident, I pulled a regular T-shirt out of our closet for him to wear. No more back brace also means no more moisture-wicking white tank top. I can’t believe how truly excited I am about this. Seeing Nick dressed normal again feels so good to me. It reminds me of a time, long, long ago, when he was healthy. I also grabbed his favorite pair of shoes and threw them in my car so I wouldn’t forget to bring them to the prosthetists office later this week. These baby steps mean so much to us. Busting out his old clothes is just another step in the right direction.
We are just counting down the days until Nick receives his new feet. He is bursting at the seems. His therapist Bill just ordered some parallel bars specifically to work with Nick. There’s also a set of parallel bars at our gym, which are inconveniently located on the second floor. Tomorrow I’ll be asking management to find a spot for them downstairs so Nick can practice walking at the gym too. We are also looking for a walker. We have two of the basic ones already, but we’re after a fancy one like my Mom had. One with rolling wheels (not a set of tennis balls!), hand brakes and a seat for when he needs a rest. My Moms had a basket under the seat to store her purse. That would be an ideal place to stash The Man Purse so nobody can see it. When you sit on the seat of one of these walkers, a safety feature activates the brake so you can’t roll away. We need one like this for practicing at home and for using when his endurance builds enough to walk around while we are out and about.
Tomorrow Nick is having a Urodynamics test done at his Urologists office. This test will show us exactly what’s up with his bladder. They will test its functionality and then be able to accurately diagnose the problem and establish realistic expectations for him. Doesn’t sound like a fun procedure, but we are excited to get some insight. And of course, he went swimming today. He doesn’t want to miss a single opportunity to bliss out under water.
Nicks spine doctor has cleared him to begin walking. We saw him this morning for X-rays and a follow-up. They were thrilled with Nicks healing in the past eight weeks since his surgery. The bones are fusing and the hardware is still in place. He said it could be up to a year until Nicks vertebrae are completely done fusing and healing. But for now, it is at least safe enough for him to get upright. He also doesn’t need to wear that ridiculous turtle shell anymore except while he’s learning to walk (in case he takes a fall). This last week he has been doing more and more transfers without the brace and it’s been fine. Not being dependent on that thing anymore is like getting your A license. What a sense of freedom, accomplishment and relief. Being mobile is getting easier. Can’t wait til it gets less painful.
More swimming today, but this time we started the work out with some free weights. He was so sore afterward! I love how determined he is to get strong again. He wants his life back so badly, and is working extremely hard to get there. We are having such great experiences each and every time we go to our gym. The people there are so warm and welcoming of him. They bend over backwards to cater to Nicks needs. I honestly believe they are just sincerely impressed by him. They’re not kissing his ass, they are showing him respect. Respect for getting out of his house, out of his comfort zone and doing something active, everyday, in order to better his life and health. This, while in a wheelchair with no feet. No feet, and no excuses. Just motivation and action. Today was a good day!
1.275 million Americans have spinal cord injuries, and the number grows daily.
Skydive Perris has teamed up with Research for Cure and Cure the Cord, to raise money for Spinal Cord Research through the Reeve-Irvine Research Center.
Wednesday October 12 is POKER NIGHT at the Bombshelter. We had so much fun playing last year, they’re doing it again this year. Bluff, raise or go all-in! If you know how to play, come support a great cause. I don’t know what time it starts, but I’m guessing at about 6pm. As soon as I find out, I will share.
Friday October 14 is the MAIN EVENT! Yummy dinner at The Bombshelter, live auction, raffle, live music, cash bar and guest speakers. Cost for the evening is a minimum donation of $25 for dinner. All proceeds go to Spinal Cord Research. We went to this event last year and were blown away. The guest speakers were very knowledgeable and professional, sharing videos with the latest research and findings about spinal cord injuries and the cure. It’s fascinating information and a great cause to support. Nick and I will be going and hope to see lots of friends there!
Get a free tandem skydive or wind tunnel flight! Raise money for spinal cord research and get a free jump, or free flying time in the indoor wind tunnel. Minimum fundraising amounts are required, but they’re totally doable! People raise money all the time to run races for charities, now this is your opportunity to raise money and actually do something FUN! Go to www.skydiveperris.com for all the details that are too numerous to mention here.
Pumping iron at the gym! It feels so good to be able to do this together. Very, very proud to be his side-kick.
Have I mentioned what loving, selfless, committed friends we have? Yeah, we have some of the best EVER!
This Saturday, October 15, our friends Carson Hill, his sister Monica Hill and friend Jared Driscoll are hosting an Art Auction Benefit at their tattoo studio in Oxnard. Carson is a world famous tattoo artist and all around cool guy. Nick helped teach him how to skydive and became instant friends. Using his influence in the art community, Carson and Monica have collected dozens and dozens of custom art pieces from their friends across the country. They’ve collected everything from paintings, to prints, drawings and tattoos to raise money for Nick’s recovery.
So this Saturday, at their studio they are hosting a live auction with all these beautiful collected pieces. There will be drinks, live music by “Alive at 27” and a super cool vibe.
The fun starts at 6:00pm
Neuma Studios
2451 Eastman Ave, Suite 1
Oxnard, CA 93030
BE THERE…
Where do I start? Well, after two days of not blogging, my mind feels jumbled and dusty. Actually, that’s what caused the lack of blogging to begin with. I still haven’t adjusted to life after this last hospital visit. That week got the best of me. I feel very overwhelmed again, and a bit like I’m drowning in doing-ness. And somehow, there’s never even enough doing-ness in my day, because the piles and lists keep growing and my gut-sinking feeling of “I just can’t catch up” keeps haunting me. So, yeah, that’s where I’m at.
Nick’s been swimming at the gym these past few days and he’s sore. The good kind of sore. The “I haven’t used these muscles in a while” sore. He’s working out again, but he’s still so skinny. It really hit us today how much weight he lost from being in the hospital and not eating for seven days. All the hard work to put weight on him is lost. And now with the swimming, he’s moving more, and eating less. This is the perfect recipe for weight loss. But that’s MY goal, not his. It’s challenging at meal times to feed two people with completely different caloric requirements. And for once, I’m winning, and that’s not a good thing for him. All the fruits, veggies and fish are great for his general health, but not for putting meat on his skeleton. We’re consulting with a holistic nutritionist and naturopathic doctor tomorrow. He should give some valuable insight into how to effectively meet Nick’s unique dietary needs. He comes highly recommended from TWO separate friends who have had great results with him. We’re looking forward to speaking with him.
We’re gearing up for a busy week ahead. Two doctors appointments and three fundraising events. One for us, and two to benefit spinal cord research; a cause near and dear to our hearts. Nick’s recovery would be so simple and straight forward if he hadn’t shredded his spinal nerves. Partial paralysis, and losing many basic human functions we all take for granted, really sucks. They are extremely close to finding a cure for spinal cord injuries. It could happen within our lifetime maybe. The data is fascinating. www.researchforcure.org is joining with Cure the Cord to raise money for the Reeve-Irvine Reseach Center, a leader in research and scientific discoveries leading toward a cure for spinal cord injuries. Last year we attended the Skydive Perris fundraiser for spinal cord research in support of a few friends who have suffered severe spinal cord injuries. This year, it hits a lot closer to home. We encourage all our family and friends to come out to these events and support the non profit organizations who are pioneering the way to a cure for something that could affect anyone, at anytime.
Nicks pain is almost out of control again. I just don’t get it. I mean, I get it that he has good reason to be in pain, but I don’t get why it comes in waves. Less than a week ago he was having significantly less pain. Now this. He even went swimming today. Last week I thought swimming was the wonder drug. Well, I guess I was a bit premature in thinking that. Nick’s afraid that he will be at this level of pain for the rest of his life, completely dependent upon prescription pain medicine to merely get out of bed. That just can’t happen. This is only temporary. He will heal and the pain will diminish as he regains strength and mobility. That’s going to take a while though. So, in the meantime, narcotics it is.
“You ARE what you eat. Food DOES matter.”
Here’s a look at what is motivating Nick and I to change our diets. Well, this, and all the BS he’s been through with his intestines getting blocked. “Food Matters” is doing a FREE online screening event this week. You can watch it on their website for free, ending Oct 8th (tomorrow!) It’s also on Netflix. Check it out, it might just be the catalyst you need to make some changes for your own health.
This is his Prosthetist, Phil. Phil is the shit! Apparently he is THE guy to go to for prosthetics. He trains many of the other prosthetists in Southern California, and he is the premier choice for other prosthetists who are amputees themselves. We learned yesterday that he works with the world champion surfer girl who lost her arm; the one they made a movie about. He makes her arm. He also made an arm for the Def Leopard dude.
We love Phil. He spends quality time evaluating and getting to know you. He is thorough and helpful and very personable. We have never felt rushed by him. He always makes sure all of our questions are answered, and if possible, that we can see and feel examples of what he is talking about. The only down side of all this amazing customer service is that he is always running late. Both times we have seen him we waited forty five minutes past our appointment time to see him, as did the patient scheduled after us. But unlike most doctors and dentist offices, we feel the trade off is worth it because of his attentiveness to us when we are in there with him and his dedication to our satisfaction. It really is quite unique.
So, the good news is that the initial clear test socket will be ready in a week and a half. We will go back then and Nick will stand up for the first time. While he is standing and hopefully walking within the parallel bars, Phil will be assessing the fit of the socket. And since this first one is clear, he can get a good view of any unnecessary pressure points and do away with them on the final carbon fiber molding. After this test run, it will be about three or four more days until his real legs are ready to pick up, take home and use. That’s when the real rehab will begin.
Getting fit for his new legs. It’s a pretty simple process really. They put the neoprene-like “suction sock” on (which he will always wear with the prosthetics), then put a cast-like material around it to harden and mold to his stumps shape, then they used this air tube to suction down on the cast making it air tight and more precise. This is a totally uneducated layman’s explanation here. In fact, we spent a lot of time today just getting some of our most basic questions answered. All in all, this first stage process was easy and relatively quick, which is good news, because he will go through this again in 6-12 months and then again every three years or so.
It rained on us in the pool today. This, after a beautiful display of white and grey clouds dancing across the giant expanse of sky overhead. Those who know me, know that I hate getting wet when I’m supposed to be dry. But the feeling of rain dropping on my already wet skin was uniquely refreshing. It was a warm rain, warm breeze and hot sun. This perfect combination of physical sensations shook me awake, alert and alive. These moments of consciousness don’t come very often (for me anyway!) and they will sometimes go unnoticed if you’re not actively seeking them out. And these precious moments are usually some of my most cherished and vivid memories through the years. Being rained on in the pool was definitely one of those moments.
Tomorrow is a big day. Nick is getting fit for his prosthetic legs! He has been patiently waiting a very long time for this. Dreaming about it, talking about it with everyone, and now it’s here. After he is measured, the legs take two weeks to build. So Nick will be back on his feet in two short weeks! Holy shit! After everything we have been through, two weeks is nothing. It will go by so fast, especially since it’s a busy two weeks. Can’t wait for tomorrow…
Lazy, sleepy day. Not enough energy to go to the pool. Laying on the couch for hours promotes pain, but rest is good too.
It’s days like today that I’m really reminded about how dramatically life has changed. I know a lot of our friends are out enjoying the beautiful day, living life and having fun. One of my best friends is on a two week dream vacation down in South Africa right now. I’ve been keeping up on her blog, trying to adventure vicariously through it. She only has two weeks to see and experience everything she can. She is squeezing in so many amazing outings, skipping sleep and fully taking in the wonder of her exotic experience.
It occurred to me, that that’s how we should all be approaching life in general. Perhaps not the skipping sleep part, but the intense effort to see and experience all this life has to offer us. It’s so easy to view our short lives on this long timeline because we don’t know when the end is. But what if we lived each year as if the end, was THE END? What if we stopped putting off our dreams and desires for later, and went after them today? Just incase. Just incase, well, this year really IS our last?
Sometimes, on days like today, I have a hard time with this. Because I feel we have spent far too much time in the last five years just talking about the adventures we want and not enough effort pursuing them. Too much time thinking about the ways we want to contribute to and change the world, and the accomplishments we want to make.
Then, the accident happened. Thank you God that Nick has lived in order to have more adventures, spend more time with loved ones and inspire others to live and love more deeply. The accident puts our lifespan into perspective. If we don’t get on track with our dreams immediately, when will we? Will we wait until it’s too late?
Nick recently told me he regrets never getting a pedicure with me. Well, it’s too late for that now. I don’t want to feel that way about anything else in the future ever again. What will you regret not having done if you lost your health tomorrow? Figure that out, then do it today! My list is long enough for an army of people. Expect great things from us real soon. We’re not waiting anymore. The time to live is now.
There are two interesting things to note in this picture. First, you can see the bit of flapping skin on his stump from where he scraped it on the ground when he fell on Thursday. Second, remember when he lost the patch of hair across his chest (and parts of his eyebrows) back a few months ago from his spine surgery? Well, the hair somehow grew back thicker and more abundant, so now he has some sweet manscaping with a dark patch of hair connecting the dots between his nipples. Just another complication associated with Nicks accident: unwanted superfluous chest hair. I think he makes a handsome Man-O-Lantern!
Spent more time in the pool today. Unfortunately it wasn’t as relieving for him as the past two days were. Despite the weightlessness, he was still having quite a bit of pain in his back, tailbone and hips. Enough to want pain medication while in the water. That says a lot. He has been bare bones with the Percocet since coming home. He’s so afraid of plugging his system up again. But the good news is that it helped ease his pain to enjoy the rest of the time in the pool. He only swam one lap though, but it’s okay, I’ll let this one slide.
Getting Nick in and out of the pool is quite the procedure, but we are getting the hang of it. The only down side is that I am physically incapable of doing it by myself. It’s a two person job. Well, a two man job really, or at least a one man/one woman job. One guy is behind him hugging around his torso under his arms, while I am grabbing behind his knees. We lift Nick up off the lounge chair and slowly walk into to pool with him. It’s the same maneuver for getting him out. The ground can be wet and slippery, so we are extra cautious and move very slow and deliberately. Also, to accidentally drop Nick on his tailbone would be nothing short of completely devastating. In his fragile state, he would be done. Just done.
We will be swimming again tomorrow with our two Dads. Hoping a good nights sleep will assure he has a pain free work out in the water.
My favorite part about spending time in the pool with Nick is that we can hug fully, torso to torso. It’s been months since I’ve gotten a decent hug out of him. I can hold him close to me without hurting him, or having a brace between us. It’s so nice to be reminded of a small part of the way life used to be.
Nick is feeling incredible again this evening. After three hours of non stop movement in the water his body is loose and the blood is pumping. He was just telling me how much better he is feeling compared to before the hospital visit. There are a few key factors at play that have given him a complete system reboot. His entire gastro-intestinal system has been cleaned out, and nothing but fresh whole foods and juices have been put back in. He’s also moving his body way more than he ever has since his accident and he’s taking significantly less pain medication. He’s only taking about a quarter of the amount he was taking before this hospital visit, and he’s feeling much better too. As shitty as the last week was, in a sick way I think we needed it. This opened our eyes to see just how fragile he really is now, despite his warrior attitude. And for this he is grateful.
I had a funny moment today when I was stretching his legs in the pool. A moment of disbelief at the obvious. Nick has no feet. What a mind trick. I am so used to it now, but every once in a while I will look at him as if I’m seeing him for the first time again. It can be startling to uncover the secret of No Foot Fener. This even happens to him sometimes. He was tripping out on having no feet while looking at the picture of himself in the pool. If WE still think it’s weird, I can only begin to imagine how others must see it. I guess it’s a good thing we just don’t care!
Where are they now? NIck and Lindsay Fener can be found at FenerAdventures.com
Nick Fener 