We had every intention of going down to Skydive Perris this afternoon to say hello to everyone. I swear! We really wanted to. And then… reality set in. Our daily life is exponentially more difficult now that we are home. There are no nurses to over see his moment to moment needs. They are not here to remind him to take his medicines, take a shower, use the restroom, do therapy, eat meals, wake up or go to sleep. I know those sound like silly little things, but with such a serious injury and life altering outcome, all the ‘little’ things are easily overlooked because they are often the most challenging. And it’s all these ‘little’ things that totally kick our ass. Just to get up and go to another room takes five or more minutes.
Life is just so strange now. Nick is fairly independent, yet at the same time, so completely dependent upon me. We both can’t wait until he doesn’t need me in order to get through the day. We can’t wait until it’s not just a matter of ‘getting through the day.’ Each day is a new opportunity to Get Busy Living, especially now at home.
I spent all afternoon and evening unpacking our house, tending to Nick, and creating lists. Yay, fun! Actually it was fun, since I consider the absence of stress to be fun by default. Having my entire bedroom and bathroom in boxes is stressful! But I’ve made a sizable dent in it now.
The next few days will mainly consist of buttoning up many loose items relating to Nick’s next surgery. Then we get to do this all over again. Yay, fun! Ok, not fun. Dreadful. Yet, we both understand this surgery is necessary in order for Fener’s back to be as strong as possible. His spine needs to be able to withstand the opening shock of a parachute because he does plan on jumping again. He was told to wait at least one year after his last surgery. One year is just a minor blip in eternity if it means Nick is able to live his passion again. In the meantime he’ll just have to watch me have fun.