We had a “shitty” day today. Here are a few things on my mind that I need to address.
We are doing everything we can to establish a semi-normal life here at the rehab facility. We treat his room like it’s our home. Because it is, for now. I’m constantly cleaning and organizing. Constantly working to take care of Nick. When we have guests, I try to make them feel comfortable and welcome.
What we are requiring now, while we are training to return to our real home, is for everyone to treat this place as if it IS our real home. And I mean everyone.
Everyone.
Friends, family, nursing staff, etc,.
Please ask us well in advance before coming to visit or stopping in to see us. Please understand if it’s not a good time. Nick and I are tired. Probably me more than him right now. And despite how public we seem to be, we’re actually rather private people. We sure as shit don’t get any f-ing privacy around here either. I don’t even remember what privacy means. And privacy aside, Nick and I rarely even get many quality moments alone that don’t include bathing, eating, peeing or pooping…. and that aren’t interrupted by the staff here.
Now, even though we’ve had to set some critical boundaries, we are both SO ready to have friends and family around. But not at every moment of the day, and not all at once. Having too many people “visiting” at one time creates a chaotic mess of conversations in our tiny room. Then, add the constant barrage of nurses, and doctors and therapists and maintenance who come and go all day! I just can’t deal with that unnecessary and avoidable stress anymore. So it’s very important to communicate with us so we can plan our days around your visits. Or plan your visits around our days, actually. Nick’s schedule changes each day, sometimes multiple times a day. And sometimes, the schedule doesn’t matter. Sometimes we just want some time to quietly rest and recharge our batteries in peace.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is that we really do want to see our friends and family often. We need you guys!! And since they are training us for “real life”, we should train you for “our real life”. So if you never used to walk through our front door without calling first (or knocking!!!) then don’t do it now please.
This is probably one of the most boring posts I’ve made so far. Sorry about that. But it’s probably one of my most valuable ones.
Let’s see, what actually happened today that didn’t involve bathing, eating, peeing or pooping? Not a whole lot. MIA dog came to visit and so did a few friends. Nick and I finally had a few hours to relax together and have amazing conversation.
Looking forward to having our heads up a little higher tomorrow.
Nick Fener 