He read his fortune, got very quite and introspective, then nodded and said to himself, “I really am. I really, really am.”
A very, very proud moment!! (nevermind the funny look on his face)
Sorry about the poor video quality. Something went haywire during the upload process.
Yesterday was the nine month point since Nick’s accident. I’ve probably said this before, but I look forward to the time when the 20th of each month doesn’t trigger emotions for me. The last few months of “anniversaries” have felt pretty good. I’ve used that time to reflect upon how far he’s come. But just the fact that I still measure time in “months since Nick’s accident” means that it’s still engulfing my heart and mind. I’m okay with that… for now anyway.
We saw Nick’s prosthetist today, and addressed a list of concerns. Now that he can straighten his hips more, and stand taller, he has been standing too far on his toes. Also, his therapist at Project Walk noticed that one leg is about a quarter inch longer than the other. How we missed that before, I just don’t know. But we got them both fixed today.
Just those two minor adjustments and Nick can now stand up straight, unassisted, not holding the bars, for about 20 seconds or so. Wow! The longest he could let go for was 1 second, before today. When he did it for the first time today, it brought tears to my eyes. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen Nick stand upright, totally relaxed and sturdy. It’s amazing what a little tweaking to the ol’ fake legs will do for a guys balance. Now that his feet are slightly more flexed, he says that walking feels better. It looks better too. I can see that he’s rolling more smoothly from his heals to his toes.
An accomplishment like this one just affirms how close he is to walking unassisted. He also tried walking along the parallel bars only using one hand. He made about four steps before losing balance. Prior to today, he couldn’t even take one step forward unless both hands were holding him up.
I am really looking forward to seeing him workout at Project Walk tomorrow. I’ve got to see these new adjustments in action. I may even skip my beach workout to watch every second of his. THAT’S how stinkin’ epic this is!!
Waking up to a brand new day. Feeling much better after a physically and emotionally exhausting weekend. I was pretty ill and unhappy yesterday. Stayed in bed til 3. Would have remained there except a good friend came into town. She saved the day.
Nick had fun yesterday though. He went go-karting with his brother Dan. It was his idea. He wanted to do it. Now that’s the Nick Fener I used to know. Since his accident, he hasn’t really pursued any fun on his own. He’s either too tired or in too much pain. So to see him do this on his own was refreshing. And he raced three times. Bet he’s sore today!
Today we’re going for a walk, he’s going to work out, and then he has a doctors appointment. Back to the grind you can say.
We both witnessed someone die today. We went home and laid in each others arms for a few hours, absorbing every bit of gratitude for being able to still do so.
Very, very sad day.
At some point today it occurred to me that tomorrow is the six month mark since Nicks last back surgery. That’s cool and all, but this information is
most exciting because it means that there’s only six months remaining until the one year anniversary of that surgery. That’s when the doc said he could skydive again. Thinking about it in those terms made Nick overflow with excitement on the way to Project Walk.
Today was the first time we’ve talked in depth about the future of his skydiving. We visualized the logistics of the plane ride and exit, the free fall and tracking away, the opening and the landing.
I asked him the most valid question I could think of. “What needs to change in order for you to be ready for this in six months?” The short answer is: a lot. Despite it seeming too lofty a goal (to me), Nick is dreaming big and setting his sights for that date. His goal is to be stronger than he’s ever been in his life by August 18. He plans to be walking unassisted by then and have much less tailbone pain by then. To sum it up, he has a lot of work to do.
He told me that during therapy today, he kept thinking about skydiving and the “six month countdown.” I imagine that’s a huge motivation for him, like a bride-to-be dieting to fit into a smaller wedding dress on the big day. It’s fun getting excited with him. He misses his old life tremendously. Despite coping very well and staying extremely positive, his current situation is a far cry from anything he previously considered acceptable for his life. He’s living proof that you never know how you’re going to handle something until you’re faced with it. Thank God for Nicks determination, humility and uplifting spirit, in a time when crumbling would have been much easier.
Was going through Nicks skydiving stuff today. These are the clothes that were cut off of him when he got hurt. Emergency responders weren’t messing around!
Nick passed his driving test like a champion, even though the lady dinged him for pulling away from a curb in a residential area without using his blinker. Big whoop! Now the next step is to get the hand controls installed in the CR-V. I don’t mind getting them permanently installed. At least twice last week I was wishing we had the hand controls so he could do some of the driving for me.
Well it’s official, I am re-joining the work force in 10 days. It’s time. We both feel good about it. And now that his schedule is finally locked down, I can focus on working mine around it. This will be good for so many reasons. Too many to list. I have to admit that I’m a little nervous. But only a little. I’m more focused really. Turns out there are tons of little things that I need to take care of before I can get back at it. To start, my equipment is scattered about, lost, dirty or needs attention. I’ve got a detailed checklist and already chiseling away at what needs to be done.
I’m really looking forward to having something in my life that’s for me. And working again can offer me that. I wish Nick was joining me though. He wants to work skydiving again so badly. And neither of us wants to spend that time away from each other. We’ve been working together for four years and love it! When it’s time for him to find work, hopefully we can be close. It’s important to us.
Nick met some ladies from The Red Hat Society at IHOP, and asked if he could join their “gang.”
Nick rode the stationary bike today. The main objective was to find an activity that will help strengthen his right leg. Something he can do at the gym on his own. He practiced his one-legged peddling for a while. I see Spin classes in his future!
Back at Project Walk today, a long journey there and back in the rain. A minor inconvenience is totally worth it because his progress is so astounding. He does this certain exercise, in which he lays on his side and kicks his top leg back into Bri’s hands. Last week, his right leg needed a little assistance to do this. She had to hold his leg steady or it would drop. Not today though. He kicked that right leg back with steadiness and much greater precision. Of course, this action requires the backs of his legs, and now that they’re activating a bit, the maneuver is getting easier. Noticeable daily progress is exciting and motivating!
He also had a fun little interview with a charming 12 year old boy who is making a documentary about Project Walk. His grandmother suffered a spinal cord injury from road biking, so his heart is drawn to helping people with that injury. The short film will be showcasing Project Walk, it’s staff and clients, with hopes to raise awareness and funds for the facility. This is his way to pay it forward. How cool is that?
Well, tomorrow is the big day, Nick is finally taking the official driving test with hand controls. I’m just hoping there’s no written test. The practical will be very easy for him, but I’m sure the written portion would stump many of us. Here’s hoping it all goes smoothly, because absolutely nothing, with regards to getting the hand controls installed in the new car, has gone right up to this point.
Happy Valentines Day. This is a bit of a re-blog, and it’s definitely NOT my style to re-blog, but since I live by these rules I thought it was appropriate to share. This is the secret to mine and Nicks happiness, even through the heart break and despair of losing our love-life as we once knew it.
6 phrases to use for a successful relationship:
1. You look great.
2. Can I help?
3. Let’s eat out.
4. I was wrong.
5. I am sorry.
6. I LOVE YOU.
This is an excerpt from an 85 year old mans life story who had lost his wife after 53 year of marriage. It’s comforting to know we are following in their foot steps (even if I’m the only one with the feet!)
Tonight we decided to celebrate Valentines Day in a very unique way. We invited some friends over to play poker and hang out. We were joined by one other couple and a few single friends. What a fun night! It was the un-Valentine celebration. I think maybe we have started a tradition here.
It’s hard for me to take Valentines Day seriously. I don’t want balloons, roses, red foil wrapped chocolates, stuffed animals, crowded restaurants, jewelry, or unnecesary expectations. Last year Nick took me camping in Joshua Tree and we did a private rock climbing course. Now that’s my idea of romantic. And it was actually a total fluke that our trip landed on VDay. I couldn’t have cared less.
I hope all my friends and loved ones had a fabulous Valentines Day though. But if you didn’t, or you were all alone, just remember, today was just like any other Tuesday, of any other week. There just happens to be a lot of red and pink candy for sale in all the stores.
Tomorrow he returns to Project Walk. He got asked to do an interview for a documentary being filmed tomorrow. A local Carlsbad church is teaching kids about paying it forward. One kid decided to focus on PW. And I guess the pastor of that church visited PW, was wildly impressed, and decided to make a documentary about it. Will find out more details about it tomorrow. Very excited though… for that and the therapy.
Beautiful day for a lake front stroll.
A few things that I’m grateful for today…
-I am grateful to sleep on a comfortable mattress every night.
-I am grateful for having plenty of food to eat, and never knowing what it’s like to go hungry.
-I am grateful for my emotional resilience and the ability to “see the good” in life.
-I am grateful for Nicks help in the kitchen tonight. He juiced for me even though he was in pain and wanting to lay down.
-I am grateful for my physical health and my desire to keep it as I grow older
-I am grateful for our new car. It serves us on a daily basis, making life easier and safer, and allows us to comfortably carry cargo such as a wheelchair, walker, groceries, gym bags and more.
-Love. I am grateful to feel loved.
What are some things you are grateful for?
Today begins the first of two “slow” weeks as far as Project Walk is concerned. He’s only scheduled on Wednesday and Friday. After this two week lull, he begins his permanent schedule of Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We both thrive with a bit of structure, so finally having a schedule locked down will help dramatically to increase our productivity and over all quality of life. This week he’s returning to his previous gym training schedule (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday,) and will combine it with Project Walk for an active 6-day workout week.
Today, we went for a long walk in the drizzly weather at Menifee Lakes. It’s a safe, paved path along a beautiful little man-made lake. He walked three times farther than he did at the beach the other day. We were out there for over 30 minutes, including his brief resting times. There was a slight down/up hill grade and he handled it with pure grace. The hill wouldn’t even be noticeable to a normal person, but for someone with minimal stamina, it was a bit of a challenge. Going down it, he struggled to keep his weight off his arms. His triceps were killing him afterward. Going up the slope, he said he couldn’t quite “figure it out.” I’m still not sure exactly what he meant by that, but I know it has something to do with the lack of flex in his ankles. They don’t roll as he steps, so the placement is critical, and can be super awkward. I guess his knees were locking out when he stepped flat footed. This will certainly be addressed at his next prosthetist appointment, which is hopefully this month.
One of the most significant things about our walk today, is that he was getting sore immediately. Not nerve pain, or bone soreness, but muscle soreness. His butt and the backs of his legs were getting sore, the way they would if you started a brand new workout routine without having worked out in years. This is significant because they were sore from working. This means he was using his glutes and hamstrings to walk, something he really hadn’t noticed before. He really has come a long way in just a few short weeks.
We went bowling to celebrate Shazza’s first annual 39th birthday. Here’s Fener, getting ready to gutter. He was quick to correct me this morning about his score last night; he got 13 points, not 12!
We came back from the beach feeling refreshed and renewed. I’ve said this before, I know. These mini weekend getaways are proving to be critical for us. This week was perfect timing for this because of his early therapy sessions. We were both more relaxed trying to get him there early because the drive time was only a quarter of the usual time.
We spent time on the beach, in the beautiful hotel room, and checking out the town. I got a lot of quality beach time during Nicks therapy and nap times. I took time to feed my soul with jogging, walking, reading, yoga, napping and sand sculpting.
We borrowed the sand wheelchair and let Nick experience the ocean close up. He napped on the sand and enjoyed the sunset too. We had a super fun, yet accidental lunch with friends, and we cooked $4 lobster tails on the hotel BBQ.
On the last night, Nick and I enjoyed a romantic date. We ate sushi and watched live music and dancing. Then we sat on the stairs over looking the dark night and majestic ocean waves. When I got too cold, we took a seat by the outdoor fireplace at the hotel.
Now that we’re back home it’s time to get busy. More swimming, more stretching, more walking and more working out.
Tonight we went bowling for a bad ass friends birthday. Nick bowled for an entire game and got 12 whole points. Bowling used to be a semi hobby for us, so this was certainly not typical for him. Excellent fun though, and he’s really such a good sport. Bowling in a wheelchair looks awkward. It was everything he had to not hit the ball on the wheels. And of course, he refused to use the kiddie ramp. Those 12 points were all him!!
We went there strictly to exercise and enjoy our last few moments at the beach before going home. He walked farther than ever before, and didn’t even fall once. So proud!
